So, here I sit. Thanksgiving's come and gone. On Friday up went the Christmas decor. And, while those who know me, know how much I adore decorating for Christmas (and the seasons in general), this year, something just wasn't, hmmm... isn't quite there.
I started by opening the two huge plastic tubs of decor. As I hung the garland, and tried to figure out where to put things, I found myself feeling frustrated after an hour or so, wondering why, if I wanted to simplify my life, I was putting up all this extra stuff? While putting the tree together (Hubby's alergic to pine), and adding the lights, red beaded garland, and placing the ornaments with the thought of a toddler in mind... I found myself not caught up in the normal "Christmas Spirit". (And I was even listening to carols mind you!) I found myself trying to figuring out how to simplify things, while wanting more things to decorate more rooms. How mussed is that eh?
Of course today, we watched the movie "A Polar Express" and "Charlie Brown's Christmas", and I found myself realizing, that people paint this perfect picture of Christmas. You are supposed to have white snow on the ground, or falling, but safe enough for people to travel. You are supposed to have lots of lights, gifts that people love, and that feeling of good cheer, which seems to have severely disapated over the years. I mean, think about it.
So, is that why I'm in this Christmas Humbug funk? Is that why it doesn't feel the same? Or, is it simply a connection to something different? Something bigger that I'm not connecting with? Is it because I'm so tired? What is this feeling? What happened to my Christmas Spirit?
There was a time, that knowing Santa was coming made the holiday. Dare I pass that tradition on to my kids? There was a time, that knowing we were celebrating the birth of Christ meant something. However, I've since learned the connection of Christmas (originally the pagan holiday of the Winter Solstice) and how "they" combined Christ's birth with the pagan traditions ... well... you can see where that is going.
I could take a moment to go on a ramble about how my once devout Catholic beliefs have since been transformed immesurably with what I've learned the older I've gotten, but I won't. However, I think my lack of spirituality lately might have something to do with it. That whole spirit thing again.
Whatever I'm going through, I'm not sure, but I feel as though I'm on a journey. And, hopefully, I'll find Spirit of some kind, or a connection of some kind at the end of it.
At least my home looks lovely at the moment.
Peace out.
4 comments:
It's a time to be with friends, family, and keep each other warm and happy in the colder, darker, winter months. And when you can't spend time, you think about them, as I'm thinking about you (and da pook!).
BTW - I laughed when you said "How mussed is that eh?" You said EH! We Canadians are rubbing off on ya ;)
- Canadian penguin, eh
Yes, I say "eh" alot, especially after you two always visit us. I'm just waiting until Da Pook gets on bored with it.
Her latest phrase is, "No, I don't want a _insert what she doesn't want here_ right now."
Too freakin' cute.
I think though, that I am going through something here, and perhaps it's going to reflect on next year's gift giving. Who knows?
Miss ya.
PS. Good luck on that test! And.. .shouldn't you be studying? ;) Thanks for the post though. Makes me feel so loved. :)
Doh, that should read "board" as opposed to "bored".
My brain isn't working the way I'd like it to at the moment. Blarg.
I like that "simply enjoying what you do" part Stacie.
I was thinking about that yesterday. I think that's what bugs me out so much, is that I usually enjoy doing the decoration thing, but this year, I didn't, and I'm not sure why. It could be because I had to rethink a few things, or because I was over tired.
To be honest, it could very well be that I've noticed I've been feeling rather tired and burnout on the work front and home front.
In any case, I'm currenlty working on shift my persepective and trying to see things in a more positive and joyful light. So, we'll see how it goes.
Post a Comment