Transformation

I've been spotting dragonflies and butterflies everywhere. And then, the other day, we discovered a toad living in our garden. He was as large as the palm of my hand.

I've a thing for animal totems, and what animals mean or the message they bring when they come into your life, because it would seem, that when I look up the meaning after taking notice, the message is indeed appropriate and well suited for what is occurring in my life.

And thus, I suppose you could say that I now pay attention.

And recently, I've felt like a caterpillar. Minding my own business. Eating good food, going about my life trying not to harm nor hurt. And just making my way along.

Until a moment came, when I had to speak up for my own feelings, and to take a stand. It took everything in me to speak my heart, because my nature is to fix things and find peace as quickly as I can.

I'd wish I'd spent more time in the cocoon. Enjoying the pause and slowness, and getting rest. But, I didn't. I felt as though I was plucked up, wrapped up, and tossed into a bag, turned to mush... and then, then I had to stretch my wings. And I still feel as though I'm stretching my wings, fighting to get out of the cocoon.

What will be in store after this? I am not sure, but I feel as though my perception of life is shifting.

The funny thing about dragonflies, butterflies, and toads ... all point to transformation. Will I turn into a butterfly? Will I fly with my wings? Will my wings be strong enough to fly?

Guess we'll find out.

Everything, and anything can be a learning experience

The hibernation isn't quite going as planned, but that's okay. I'm using this post as a sounding board more or less, as I've been asked to take part in a leading a workshop that encourages parents to celebrate the seasons with their children. I've also been pondering how to make homeschooling (or HS as I'll be referring to it hereon) more of a priority in our lives.

And so, I'm here. Putting forth my thoughts into this electronic media for you dear readers!

In regards to HS, I've decided to start displaying HS stuff around the house for inspiration and encouragement. There are 5 areas that I do my best to focus on with Pook each day:

* Words - Reading, writing, and phonics
* Numbers - Counting, Math
* Music/Dance - Listening, dancing, singing, making, appreciating
* Art - Painting, sculpting, drawing, etc.
* Nature - doing something that relates to the outdoors
* Creative Play - This is based on books from Oak Meadow. It's when she plays on her own.

In order to encourage these priorities, I've decided to really start incorporating the HS aspects into our decor.

Words:
Books can be found in almost every room of our home. On second thought, at this very moment, there are books in everyroom of our home!

I'm infamous for posting quotes, affirmations, and meaningful words. There are magnetic letters on the fridge that we trace with our fingers. Before bed is the mandatory reading with Daddy (and sometimes Mommy). In the morning (on good days), Pook and I sit and read together.

She can already write an H, but until she shows more interest, I'm not pushing the writing aspect yet. But there are plenty of line tracing activities I can encourage her to do if she's interested, and that she can do as she gets older.

In regards to phonics, we haven't done much work with that, but we will. Another neat thing to do, is to make bread dough or play dough into letters.

Numbers:
Decorwise - they appear on our fridge with the magnetic letters. She is constantly counting and sorting things on her own, so numbers are pretty easy. I haven't quite figured how else I plan on displaying them, although, she does have object on her nature table she can count and sort. Also, games like Candyland, Chutes and Ladders, etc. encourage counting too.

Music/Dance:

Our home is usually always filled with music. Each meal we usually play a CD. And, when we are cleaning or cooking, music usually fills the air. Occasionally, you'll find all of us (even Daddy) breaking into dance. In the kitchen. Alone or all together.

Art:

To encourage art, I've created a table centerpiece that displays all kinds of good art supplies on the kitchen table. Using jars, I've put out markers, crayons, paint brushes, chalk, and other inspirational goodies.

I keep them on a tray, for easy removal from the table when we have guests. They encourage Pook to draw and create each day. As an artist, and a believer that art and creative expression is important, this is a big one for me. Already, I've got most of the learning stuff put on shelves in the dinning room for easy access.

Nature:

Recently, we've created a nature table for Pook. A nature table is a great way for kids to be indoors, and there is a vast amount of information out there on them. However, let me tell you what we are doing. The table changes each season. Right now, we're on winter (even though it feels like freakin spring.)

There's a blue towel with snowflakes on it; a stuffed snowman; a kailidoscope (scuse the spelling); a woven bowl with acorn caps, a pine cone (it's on the list to find/get more), 3 dradles, a few seashells; a bowl of rocks; a vase with sticks from the tree outside (that was budding *sigh*); a cool shaped stick from a walk at Oregon Ridge long ago; her fairy wands; and a basket filled with wintery, snowy, and Christmassy books.

Each season the books and cloth will change accordingly, as we discuss what occurs with weather, plants, animals, etc.. On Thursday, we plan to make homemade pinch pots that will enable her to create art, and sort items like acorn caps, sea shells, sticks, and other nature goodies.

When we go for walks, or visits, I encourage her to find rocks, leaves, and the like to keep on her table. Many things on her table have a story to go with them, which make them even cooler. Even when she leaves the nest, I think I shall keep a spot for a nature table in our home. It's become that precious to me.

Creative Play:

All of her toys are easily displayed and in easy reach. Hopefully, she'll have a kitchen set for her birthday. She just got a doll house for her birthday. If you think of how a nursery school is set up (corner to keep coats, store, dress-up area, kitchen/house area, blocks, art area, reading area, doll house, car area, snack area, etc.), you'll get the idea of how we are setting up our home to reflect this.

Already, I've got most of the learning stuff put on shelves in the dinning room for easy access.

I don't have a formal schedule as of yet, and she is involved in a Kindermusik class (if you have kids, I cannot reccomend this program enough - and it starts with birth until age 7) throughout the year. This program tackles all these things, and then some.

What I like best about HS, is that every day is a learning experience - for all of us. For instance, a day at our friends' farm means outdoors and in nature. She gathers and counts the eggs (numbers). She plays the piano (music). She plays in the water (creative play). She come home, and curls up in bed to read with Daddy.

As you can see, even if you are choosing not to HS, you can still incorporate these ideas for your own child. I find, that if you make learning fun, and realize you do it everyday, it makes the whole experience more amazing. You'd be surprised what you gain from it as well!

Soft thoughts

I can hear the thunder, rolling through the night sky. The wind dances with the curtains, as it passes into the room. Today, I spent the day with my sweet little girl. We had a swimming lesson (she's doing SO well since her first class, now if only we can get her to blow bubbles...). We had lunch with her friends, then her Kindermusik class. She fell fast to sleep in the back car.

Today, I was blessed with good news, and reassurance from a dear friend, that I'm a good mom. And you know what, I know I'm a good mom.

My daughter is always smothering me with kisses, telling me she loves me, that she's proud of me. And I'm so proud of her. It was a tough weekend (we started toilet training), but she's been keeping her pants dry all this week, whenever she wears them. She has realized, however, that when in the diapers (bedtime and travel for now, she can get away without sitting on it).

In any case, each day I watch her grow and do new things. She is amazing, loving, and wonderful.

Snuggled under soft sheets and warm comforters, I sit with my laptop staring out the bedroom window. Pook-a-boo is watching Blues Clues and coming in to visit me and bury herself into the pillows. I love the fall.

The morning is chilled, and there are no swim lessons today, so I was able to sleep in (after having a Pook snuggled next to me all night). Now, in the quiet, I am able and motivated to get my work done.

Things seem to be settling into to a relaxed pace. Laundry, work, playtime and reading all seem to fall into place. I love the opportunity that fall provides us, to slow down with the cold. Slowing down. I like slow.

I'm feeling peaceful right now. It's a feeling I want to just bask in. Mmm... feels like it's time for a good cuppa. Yay... autumn!

Autumn's Dance

On a brighter note, autumn is arriving. I feel it in the chilly mornings, smell it in the crip air, and taste it in the homeade soups and breads. I've got that urge to purge and empty out the house, swinging open the windows to let in the fresh air.


I love autumn, because even though activities for the precious Pook pick up, it's a time for slowing down as the Earth prepares for winter. Yesterday was a day for curling up on the sofa and snuggling under a warm blanket. Soon, it will be time for hot cocoa, chai lattes, and tea in the mornings.

Tonight, we celebrate autumn's arrival with friends dear to our hearts, good foods of harvest, apple wine (with maple and cinanamon), and good times at the farm. My heart is losing the heaviness it's felt all week, and I'm pondering what I can bring as my "harvest" for the summer. It's been a time of spirtual growth (then again, when isn't it?), lessons, and learning. How to represent it all? I'm not sure yet. But I've still got quite a few more hours to ponder it.

Sleeping beside me...

Is the most angelis little being. Her body, spent from waking up early due to a nightmare involving a lost purse at 5:30 am, finally collasped into sweet sleep. She, is my precious angel girl. Her skin so soft and warm, her arms, wrapped around a pillow as though it were her sweet daddy.

She had me send the sitter home early, so she could trustingly succumb to the exhaustion that had been the cause of her crankiness throughout the day. She is sweet innocence.

I am in love.

Week's Prose

Sweet silence of morning, dappled with bird calls. Blessed with a clear head, my work completed swiftly and with focus (this morning at least), blogs and other addictive material avoided.

I sit here, calm, caught up, Pookie sleeping soundly still. There's a stillness, even as my fingers dance upon the clicking keys.

Snow has fallen, leaving a powdered-sugary coating upon the ground and houses. Cars are warming up, the steam blending up and into the environment.

It's been an interesting week. Tuesday was a full moon, and the way the day worked out, just seemed as though I was meant to be there for someone grienving so much in her life - dead father and best friend. One she feels taken too soon, the other a long cancerous process. She just turned 28 - that age when the universal cosmos comes together to check on your and see where you are on your life path - not always pleasant for some, and virtually clear sailing for others. Yet, there always seems to be something.

Hubby's been tired and not sleeping well, though he's been handling the grumpiness and sniffles quite well. Although I suspect he'll be crashing this weekend into the soft bed that brings him comfort, and downing the NyQuil that brings him relief. At least he'll be home early today.

This morning pook lays sleeping in bed, curled amongst pillows, her body cuddled within the covers that she kicks off in sleep. She is a precious jewel, warm and fragile, as I tenderly kiss her blushed cheek. I adore this soft being, cringing as she coughs in sleep. But, to the doctor today, to make sure it's nothing serious.

And so I sit here, typing, filling my body with water, as my liver's not been too happy with the continual chocolate and comfort foods I've been eating as though it were my only thread to freedom of the stress I've been not dealing with in regards to having to work this weekend. Though this morning, I feel as though I can cut down on the intake of it at least. At least I don't drink. :)

And so sweet Friday is hear, with Shamrocks and green galore, and snowy fervor. Though part Irish, I'm not one to celebrate this holiday, although as a child corned beef and cabbage was ingested this day. But not today. Nope, tonight it will be Italian lasagne shared with our small family and a visiting friend.

Here's hoping for a peaceful and rejuvenating weekend to all, I know it's much needed after this last weekend for us.

And so the light comes forth yet again...

Cycles.

The word is full of them. Winter Solstice was yesterday, and not the cycle of the sun returning and days growning longer begins. The moon cycles from darkness to fullness, with halves in between. You've got the tides of the oceans, also based on moon rhythms. The seasonal cycles as well.

I'm particularly fond of the seasonal cycles. I'm starting to honor them. For instance, in fall, I'm hit with a massive urge to declutter, shed things, and prepare for the quietness of winter. In winter, we hibernate and honor the quietness of winter. (If you've even been outdoors in the woods, when it snows, it's incredibly quiet.) In spring, I'm ready to be social and bloom again. And in summer, it's time to relish in the sun, the harvest, good fun, and be cleansed by swimming outdoors.

Women have menstrual cycles. (So, if you're a man or a woman reading this, and uncomfortable with discussing or reading about women's monthly cycles, you might just want to skip these next four paragraphs.) And, if we pay attention, you can sense through the course of 28 days, how your body and mood changes and shifts. It's really quite marvelous. For instance, I've realized that after my utterus has cleansed itself, I'm pumped, energized, and refreshed. It's pretty obvious when I'm ovulating (just ask my hubby). If I really pay attention, I actually can feel it. And right before, I'm sluggish and swollen, as my body prepares to cleanse itself.

Most women aren't happy with the cramping or the bleeding. In fact, many of the connotations associated with our monthly cycles are negative. After all, many feel it interupts things, and gets in the way. "Aunt Flo is visiting", "on the rag", and "period" are few of the terms (the nicer ones) used to speak in code about it. I've heard other women get excited about menopause - because then they can get on with their lives uninterupted. (I could go off on a tangent with this, but perhaps I'll remember to return to it at a later time.)

The fact is - it's natural. It happens, it's a way to be connected with life. I use my cycle to get in tune with myself. It reminds me to slow down and nurture myself while my body sheds and rejuvenates itself. It gives me a chance to get intouch with my inner feelings (have you realized just how hard it is to surpress how you "really" feel when your hormones are surging?) and deal with them. I've found that I need more sleep, warm foods, naps, and to just slow down in general just before and the first few days of the bleeding. I also become extremely cuddly and loving (after the cranky mood).

And so, when my cycle runs it's course, and I prepare to shed the inner uterine lining, I put my hand over my womb, thank it for being fertile and cleansing, and reminding me each month, that I need to take care of me once in a while. I enjoy being a woman, and, having my own special cycle to celebrate it. But then, that's just me.

****
Okay, for those too squeamish, I'm done. :)

In any case, I always find it interesting to see the cycles in things. We've all got them. And we've got the choice to celebrate them, or ignore them, or ocmplain about them.

And that's my two cents for today.

Solstice traditions

After my last post, I got to thinking about how Christmas is connected to the Solstice and the like. I discovered a few new things. Red, green, and white are pagan colors. Hmmm... And, if you look it up, looks like Christ wasn't the only son of the gods being celebrated in the past. There are lists for each culture. Again, very interesting.

These sites had some interesting info on the Solstice:
http://www.shambhala.org/arts/fest/unconquered.html
http://www.religioustolerance.org/winter_solstice.htm
http://www.circlesanctuary.org/pholidays/SolsticeArticle.html

And I'm sure there's a plethora of more sites too. But, those were ones I was looking at this morning.

I don't want to be all Bah Humbug and stuff, and I love opening presents as much as the next person. It's just that I keep coming back to this weird feeling inside that there's something MORE. Even reading through all these rituals for the seasons... Oi! It's all got me thinking about so much...

Over the years, we've cut back on giving material gifts to people. It just got to be too much. So, now we offer our time - like a dinner at our place, a weekend retreat, or just time spent together. We don't give these gifts to everyone, but in the case of the ILs, it's the best. They can buy whatever they want anyway, but MIL is always cooking. So now, for her birthday and Christmas, she gets a weekend here, all meals cooked and enjoying her granddaughter twice a year. This year we signed FIL up for the Pook Picture of the Month club. Da Pook works in a medium of crayons, paint, etc. and off to Grandpa it goes.

This year I was doing the cookie thing for people too. But even that got old. After my 75th gingerbread cookie, I was tired, and felt I could've been doing something more productive with my time. Plus, with everyone on diets and the like, it just takes all the fun out of it! Blarg!

So, I've been trying to get creative with gifts that I can give. I don't mind giving my time to some people, but in some cases, we are way too far away or it's just not an appropriate gift to give. Part of me just doesn't want to do the gift thing any more, especially after reading this:
http://www.aliveness.com/kangaroo/NoChristmas.html

This site really hit home for me. Maybe it was trying to figure out what to get people, getting fed up with all the materialism this time of year (buy this, but that, etc.) I tried to think about what Christmas would be like without giving gifts. It scared me, because, hey, let's be honest, thanks to some people, I can really cash in on things. :) Hubby and I caught ourselves buying more stuff for each other (winter coats, he got a computer game, we got some art books, etc.) and Da Pook (instruments, books - I'm a book lover in many cases, readily admitting Book Stores are DANGEROUS territory for me, educational toys - an alligator you can thread a string through, etc.). All in all? We are over budget.

I can only imagine those people who spend a lot of money getting their parents things, plus all the other family members. I know people who buy things for a family of at least 20 (and we are talking about $25 a pop, if not more on the parents!) and then get nice, expensive things for their friends. Now, if they actually had the money to do this, no problem. But most of these people are already in credit card debit over their heads, and going fruther into it.

I must admit though, strolling into Barnes and Noble, buying things and crossing them off a list, wrapping presents in pretty packaging, does fill me with an amount of exquisite joy. *Sigh* Especially the jaunt through the book store, with all the lovely seasonal books, the sales... er, um... yeah... I was blogging here...

So maybe, just maybe, I can find some semblance of balence between the two. Argh. Think I've given myself a bit of a headache on this one, or maybe it's the constant Christmas Dora the Explorer DVD in the background that I now know by heart.

I need to reat my brain for a bit.

However, comments and thoughts are welcome on this.