Imagine this...

Suppose that you had the power to manifest or change your self or your life in any way you would want? However, you aren't told you have this power, and the power doesn't work unless you believe that you have the power.

Do you think you'd realize you had this power? Or, do you think you'd think it was just synchronicity, or a fluke, never truly realizing your full potential?

Empty house

Well, the luvs left early this morning, and are already missed. On that way back from breakfast (we've a Cracker Barrel Sunday morning tradition for our visitors), Pook kept saying good bye to them, even though they were on their way home and she was in the back of our car.

It's always such a treat to have them here. And though it was a busy weekend, as we spent Friday eating out and running errands for Saturday, and most of yesterday on a farm prepping for, putting on, and cleaning up from Pook's mini birthday bash with her little pals.


It was a wonderful day with the children watching the chickens being fed, feeding the donkey, gathering eggs (yup three 3-yr-olds and a 4-yr-old gathered all the eggs - and none broke!), gathering butterflies, making the "grumpy old troll" laugh (um... have you forgiven me yet CP?), up the big hill, to the lake to feed the fishes, then look at cows, run back down the hill, over the bridge, into the balloon-filled living room for lunch, followed by the classic "Happy Birthday" song, Pook blew out her candle, and then the eating of the "Angry turtle cake":



Followed by the bursting of balloons when they realized they could, a dance with the parachute, standing on the tree stump... a good time had by all. It was fun, and as soon as we got home, we all crashed. Then, after breakfast, the luvs headed home, as did we. And now, hubby and I are desiring a good nap, made impossible by the fact that our lovely pook is still wide awake, and even the offer of a nap "in the big bed" isn't working.

So, it'll hopefully be an early bedtime tonight.

Most of today has been spent doing laundry, making beds, finding the energy to clean stuff up. (Parties are great, but then you need to find room for the toys and the like.)

I've also realized, that somewhere along the line in my life, I've picked up this nasty little habit, of not wanting to do something. Instead of just doing this said thing, I try to think of created ways to get out of doing said thing, usually wasting a lot of time and energy.

Hmmm... any ideas on breaking aforementioned habit?

Excerpt from tonight's dinner conversation

Canadian Penguin, to Da Pook: "If you don't... I'm not going to be the troll tomorrow!"

Followed by (picture this being said at the same time):

Grace, with one of those looks of a mom: "You are SO going to be the troll tomorrow!"
Canadian Peguin: "Who am I kidding? I'm SO going to be the troll tomorrow!

More about the troll later... Maybe. :)

Random Friday afternoon thoguhts

There's just something about the outdoors, or at least having the window open to listen to the birds sing throughout this cloudy, then sunny, then drizzling, then sunny again, day. Must be the weather.

Tomorrow, I hear it's supposed to be as cold as it is in MD today. I hope not.

In anycase, it's been a laid back day, and I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of our Canadian luvs. Pook is getting a bit excited. Then again, she could just be fighting her urge to nap. Which, Daddy succumbed almost as soon as he got home. :)

I have, however, noticed today, that I've this innate ability to get in my own way. If that makes sense. I seem to spend more time trying to figure out ways of not doing something, or putting something off, then it would take to just DO IT. Very frustrating I must say. I also realized, that I might be a little too honest for my own good. For instance, if someone asks me why I'm not going someplace, I've been known to say something like, "I'm just not comfortable there... because..."

So, I was thinking that for the next month, maybe I could just focus on the positives of things, people, events, or what have you. I dunno, I have to explore this... after I cash in on some Canadian hugs!!!

They're here!

Yay!

Bustling spring mornings, and ergo my ego again

I sit here, up since before dawn, listening to the song of the birds. Unlike yesterday, today is gray. The crabbiness has passed, and this morning I find myself strangely content and peaceful. It's been a while I guess.

I've been experimenting with new schedules these last few weeks to accomodate my new (and lighter!) work load. I realize that I'd benefit from some routine and discipline as well, otherwise my day can easily go to hell. As I learned first hand. But, this week, I think I'm starting to find that niche, and work with it.

This morning, after yoga, my thoughts have been quite bustling about. You see, I'm exploring my feelings in regards to a few peeps in my life. And, no, these peeps don't read this blog. :)

There are people in my life, that I work with, who I just don't like I guess. Yet, I'll find my ego steps in on occasion with these "reasons" as to why I'm better then them. I suppose for some reason, I'm a little challenged when it comes to accepting these peeps. Because, lets' face it, who is to really determine who is better than someone else?

As is the case with these peeps, there's "Ala" who is over 70 yrs old. She comes across as a sweet old lady when you first meet here, but piss her off and you're dealing with a rabid cat. I do not enjoy spending time with her, thus, I avoid it at all costs. Though, there is that part of me that feels bad, because she really is a lonely miserable old gal, with no one. (Mostly because she's scared so many that got close to her away.) Then there's "Dy" who chooses to be friends with Ala, and is always trying to encourage me to be more supportive of Ala, because, after all, we're all connected in some way.

Now, I believe, that we're all connected. I mean, hell, we all live on this planet. But, I'm torn between the fact that I just don't want to spend time with Ala, or be nice because I should. Well, I hate doing anything I should do for that matter. It's probably another ego issue. One friend of mine says, she's 70 and should know better. Although, I know a few 70 and over, who just don't know better, because they seem to get so set into their ways.

So here's the thing, assuming she's set in her ways, does that mean I have to accept her and be nice? Obviously, no, I can do what I want. But, I'm thinking, that a part of me does feel something that she's created this lonely, miserable life/reality for herself. Hmm...

Guess I'll need to explore this a bit more. Comments appreciated.

Oh, and of course, you so know I'm doing the happy dance, as my Canadian luvs are due in this weekend. Oh yippee!

Crabby

Not feeling playful, not feeling happy, relazed, or wonderful, just plain crabby. A friend of mine just gave me advice to go and scream in a pillow, and to just go with it, and get through it.

Crabby.

Yup, that's me. It's one of those moments where my nerves feel raw and I want to snap at everyone. It's one of those days, where my now 3-yr-old (as of Friday), has decided that she'll say no to everything, and totally push every, and any button, of Mommy's that she can find.

Crabby.

Because I'd rather be outside, sitting in the sun, inhaling the spring air, instead of couped in my office in front of the computer, because I need to get work done.

Crabby.

And ya know what sucks the most? Aside from the fact, that I really don't like feeling this way? Is that I also painstakingly know, that I'm probably responsible for this crabbiness. Can't blame it on anyone, or even PMS. Nope. Because deep, deep down, I know I'm responsible for this mood. Be it because of what I've eaten, or my own perspective... which, of course, makes me even more crabby.

Snap, snap.

Spring sweetness

There's something about sunny, spring days and weather in the arena of 70-80 degrees that perks up the spirit. You want to be outdoors more. That, and crisp cotton sheets, cool upon the skin on a warm night. It's bliss.

I did notice, however, that since I've now got a lighter workload, I got it into my head, that having more time, means more play. Which, is not neccesarily a good thing. I managed to stress myself out last week by running errands, working, and not doing anything to nurture myself. Not a good combo.

This week, however, I'm planning on taking it easy. We've a spring break from Kindermusik, and Friday, my Canadian luvs are due to visit, and I'm SO excited! Yay!

Maybe, I'll actually get more time to blog as well.

Oh sweet, happy April!

Enchanted April... a good movie, and an around wonderful month! Three years ago, on this day, we were eagerly awaiting the birth of our little one, who wouldn't arrive until a week later, but, I was already dilated and effaced enough to go at anytime.

Tonight, my little helper colored and put stickers on the favors for her kiddie party two weeks from now. And, sorry luvs, but they are only for the kids. You see, I get a bonus gift, for my Canadians luvs are due in for a visit that weekend as well.

Today, my heart is light and free. Things worked out so that I've got less work. Which is good, because I'll now be able to work on other job-related projects, as well as, hopefully start getting a plan for the summer visiting, general house projects, and other fun things.

I've been playing with my rhythms and routines a bit, and I think I've found something that really works well for me this week. At least, I've found I'm more rested and centered, so, we'll see how it goes.

In the meantime, it's spring, and my heart is singing along with the birds. I have much to be grateful for, and to celebrate. And, with spring, the hibernation lifts, and the weekends begin to fill up with all sorts of activities. But, I'm feeling energetic about it all. I've been working very hard these last few months, and now, I'm looking forward to playing. :)

Yay!

By the way, I just had to share, that a friend of mine was talking about a little treasure hunt she was preparing for my sweet angel for Easter. She's not even using Easter eggs mind you. She was curtly told by a co-worker that Easter eggs are satanistic, representing the fertility rights of ancient rituals. My friend, being at work, said nothing. I, however, would've been like:

Well, yeah! Sorry, it's not satanistic, but pagan. And, if you celebrate Christ's birth on December 25 - guess what? That's a pagan date because it's been shown he was really born in March and December is when a multitude of people used to celebrate the birth of sons of gods and goddesses, and the SUN because of solstice! And, if you celebrate Easter as the resurrection of Christ THAT's pagan too, based on the goddess Eostre and also celebrates fertility as well as the ritual of spring (you know, rebirth after winter!). So, I guess that means, we're all pagans, or as those who fear the very word - satanists.

Okay, so, I wouldn't really say that to her face at least, I'd be nice and respectful of her views, because that's how I am.

However, anyone who is aware, should realize, that in many ways, it's all tied together. I mean WE are all connected on some level anyway. I know there are people out there who don't even celebrate birthdays, and that's fine. Everyone is entitled to his and her own opinion. I suppose though, it all boils down to how you define things.

As for me, you'll find me hiding eggs of Eostre for my child to find, and eating the ears off chocolate bunnies. And she'll be getting a sweet basket of treats too. We'll give thanks for the cycle of the seasons, grown wheat grass seeds, and dance in the sunshine, giving thanks to Momma Earth for her sweet and nurturing soil that enables us to grow food. In May, we'll be dancing around a May pole with friends, and maybe hubby and I will even celebrate May Day if we can get the pook to bed early! ;)

Whoo double hoo!