It's been an amazing week...
Time spent with Mom. Watching her enjoy all of her grandchildren together. Snuggling baby, teaching Pook about her garden, going on a radish hunt. Her smile, her radiance, her exhaustion at the end of a 13 hour day.
Seeing my aunts and uncles. Introducing them to baby, trying to catch up on one another lives. Basking in the love, the vision, their presence. Bliss.
Watching my father enjoy his family. Feeling his hugs, watching his amazement as he takes in his grandchildren who frolic and play with one another, while the baby watches. Praying for his health.
Disappointment over not being able to meet with everyone. Followed by the excitement of possibilities of future adventures to make this happen.
Reconnecting with friends - old and new. Watching our children play together and laugh.
Being welcomed into open arms at the beach house. Feeling the tears well up with joy at
being embraced by old friends.
Boardwalk fries, pizza, watching Pook's new aunties take her on the ferris wheel and take her in as their own. Feeling the sand between my toes, and tearing up at the sound of the waves coming in to shore to kiss my toes.
Watching Pook and her newest friend encourage one another from playing together, crafting together, swimming together, and enjoying the ocean waves together. My heart hurting as she tells us how she misses him, and how she wants to go back to the beach some day.
Hugging people multiple times to keep the love and store up for the future, when I'm so far away.
And finally, basking in my heart overflowing with joy, gratitude and love, cherishing the memories and looking forward to future adventures.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
May - The month of healing, compassion, gratitude, and moments
I sit here, my vacation almost over, my heart overflowing with love and gratitude. It has been an incredible adventure, with plans gone awry, amazing people, nights lasting until 5 am, pomegranate margaritas and wine, and dear, dear friends.
I began the month with an event that resulted in a much needed healing. A door opened, a light went on, and I was able to let go of years of pain, frustration, and heartache. It was replaced with compassion, joy, and love.
Throughout the month, I've been able to reflect, embrace and bask in joy. Sunny days with my little loves, more events that led to enlightening (or the light shinning brighter). Taking time to stop and breathe, and discovering hidden gifts everywhere. I've learned that I enjoy cooking, exploring new foods and tastes, and allowing myself to let go and just sense and feel things.
I've ended this month by basking in the hugs and company of family and friends, and experiencing more healing. Though I wasn't able to meet up with everyone we wanted to, we were able to meet up with quite a few amazing people.
I basked in the sun's light. I dared to let things go. I was careful where I needed to be, and embraced adventure. I reconnected with friends of old and new.
I feel as though I've gotten closure on many things. I've released many, many things. I've embraced many things. All in all, May has been an incredible month. I wonder what June shall bring...
I began the month with an event that resulted in a much needed healing. A door opened, a light went on, and I was able to let go of years of pain, frustration, and heartache. It was replaced with compassion, joy, and love.
Throughout the month, I've been able to reflect, embrace and bask in joy. Sunny days with my little loves, more events that led to enlightening (or the light shinning brighter). Taking time to stop and breathe, and discovering hidden gifts everywhere. I've learned that I enjoy cooking, exploring new foods and tastes, and allowing myself to let go and just sense and feel things.
I've ended this month by basking in the hugs and company of family and friends, and experiencing more healing. Though I wasn't able to meet up with everyone we wanted to, we were able to meet up with quite a few amazing people.
I basked in the sun's light. I dared to let things go. I was careful where I needed to be, and embraced adventure. I reconnected with friends of old and new.
I feel as though I've gotten closure on many things. I've released many, many things. I've embraced many things. All in all, May has been an incredible month. I wonder what June shall bring...
Friday, May 08, 2009
The Healing
Recently, something happened. Years of pent up anger, jealousy, frustration, miscommunication, obsession, and torment were resolved in the period of less than two days by simply listening and embracing compassion. Like water spiraling and emptying out through a drain into the sea, the negativity dissipated as something "clicked" and I was able to let go.
Now, my heart is filled with peace. I am filled with peace and love. And the beauty, whereas I once felt I "had to" reach out, take action, get involved and help fix, is that I have found the path that is best for me. It is one of love and compassion with detachment. I don't have to be connected to love. I don't have to reach out to fix what doesn't want (or may not need) to be fixed.
It's okay.
Through acceptance, I was not only able to accept another; I was able to accept myself. The person I was, the things that I do now, the things I don't do, and my perceptions of me, are okay. I was able to see that I am a compassionate, and loving being, a part of me has always been.
And for this, I am so grateful.
Now, my heart is filled with peace. I am filled with peace and love. And the beauty, whereas I once felt I "had to" reach out, take action, get involved and help fix, is that I have found the path that is best for me. It is one of love and compassion with detachment. I don't have to be connected to love. I don't have to reach out to fix what doesn't want (or may not need) to be fixed.
It's okay.
Through acceptance, I was not only able to accept another; I was able to accept myself. The person I was, the things that I do now, the things I don't do, and my perceptions of me, are okay. I was able to see that I am a compassionate, and loving being, a part of me has always been.
And for this, I am so grateful.
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