Journey to the Sea

They say the journey begins with a single step, and ours did indeed, though the key part was the crossing of a bridge. The weather was foggy, so you could only see so far. It reminded me of how we needed to stay in the present moment, and focus on what was in front of us, as opposed to where we were going or what was ahead.

I think I smiled the entire vacation. My heart was full. I was with my family. I was visiting family and meeting friends of old and new. My heart was full, bursting with joy and gratitude. I found myself enjoying everything - the car ride, the kids, the people, the views, the food - it was heaven. I made the most of each moment, treasuring with all of my senses.

Gifts can be wrapped up in packages and tied up in string, or they can be wrapped in what you least expect. Everywhere I turn I discovered something sweet (and not just the chocolate!). We spent time with some amazing people. Even hubby enjoyed himself (and that is a rare thing when it involves new people).

When visiting my mom, she sent the kids on a radish hunt. She'd picked two, then had them search for the leaves in the garden where they got to pick more. She took the time to set up a feast in her part of the house, and fed us throughout the day, until my brother came in, and fed us more.

I found that I was not only fed on the physical level. My spirit, my very soul felt nurtured and loved throughout the week. We were able to see a few friends (sorry if we didn't get to see more of you - we only had so much time!), and even though some plans fell through (thanks to work and flash floods), everything still fell into place.

I found that when I just enjoyed what happened, when I made the most of events, people, things, and feelings, there seemed to be some type of pattern or plan in place. So, we embraced it and went with it.

Eventually we made our way to the beach. The beach has always been healing for me. There is something about the waves, the ocean itself, and the sand. I always need to say hello, and to listen. I like to stand at the edge, and let the waves kiss my toes and embrace my feet. Joy filled me, traveled through me. I wanted to dance, even go into the waves and let the water baptize me with joy and contentment. You can almost let things go with the tide, to be taken away into the oceans depths, and not have to worry about them.

We wondered how Pook would react to the water and sand this time. She loved it. It was a joy to watch her play in the sand and the waves. She made a new friend, and we made new friends. There was an overflow of gratitude on so many levels. There was full, total, and complete relaxation. And laughter, oh the laughter!


We found that time was relative. We stayed up until the wee morning hours indulging in chit-chat, chocolates and pomegranate margaritas. There were rum and cokes, 10 layer cakes, mini do-nuts ;), and other delights to tease the tast buds.

The environment was laid back and loving. The people were kind, generous, interested, interesting, and overall wonderful. There is something about being able to be with people who just take you as you are. People with whom you can let down your guard and just be yourself without worry. People whom you can laugh with, and share precious moments with.


We made some incredible memories. We had an awesome time. My heart is filled with gratitude for the people, the moments, the fun, the laughter - ALL of it.

Thank you. I am basking in blessings.

May - The month of healing, compassion, gratitude, and moments

I sit here, my vacation almost over, my heart overflowing with love and gratitude. It has been an incredible adventure, with plans gone awry, amazing people, nights lasting until 5 am, pomegranate margaritas and wine, and dear, dear friends.

I began the month with an event that resulted in a much needed healing. A door opened, a light went on, and I was able to let go of years of pain, frustration, and heartache. It was replaced with compassion, joy, and love.

Throughout the month, I've been able to reflect, embrace and bask in joy. Sunny days with my little loves, more events that led to enlightening (or the light shinning brighter). Taking time to stop and breathe, and discovering hidden gifts everywhere. I've learned that I enjoy cooking, exploring new foods and tastes, and allowing myself to let go and just sense and feel things.

I've ended this month by basking in the hugs and company of family and friends, and experiencing more healing. Though I wasn't able to meet up with everyone we wanted to, we were able to meet up with quite a few amazing people.

I basked in the sun's light. I dared to let things go. I was careful where I needed to be, and embraced adventure. I reconnected with friends of old and new.

I feel as though I've gotten closure on many things. I've released many, many things. I've embraced many things. All in all, May has been an incredible month. I wonder what June shall bring...

Soulemama asks, "What beautiful ordinary/simple things have you found joy in today?"

I love, LOVE this blog. Soulemama little bits of peaceful bliss and craftiness is inspiring and soothing to my soul. And when she asked via this post today:

What beautiful ordinary/simple things have you found joy in today?

How could I not answer?

Just today, I am finding joy in the rumpled hair of my now 6-yr-old. There is peace when she puts her cheek against mine, and just leaves it there. The way my 8-month-old is curled on her side, peacefully sleeping in dream land. The "hugs" I get from the baby when she holds on to me, snuggling her sleepy head into my neck. A cup of chai latte, that's still warm! And peanut butter spread on a piece of toast. There is joy outside with the song of birds and in the gray mist.

I'm sure I'll find more as the day wears on. Thank you Soulemama! Yet again!

May 12... 7 years of bliss

Seven years on May 12 (yes I'm aware the post is a bit late), I married the love of my life. Seven years, one child, and one on the way later, I am even more in love with my sweet husband.

I adore this man. He is not only a gift in my life; he's a blessing. Each day, I fall more in love with him - if that is possible. He's an amazing father, and we are both so good for each other in so many ways.

Seven years ago, I walked down the aisle on a gorgeous May day on the arm of my father. It was so green and vibrant that day, with a bounty of blossoms, rays of sunshine, and at the end of the aisle was my future mate.

It hardly feels as though we've been married that long, even though I feel as though we've been together forever. He still makes my heart sing.

Thank you my love, for seven years of bliss and wonder. I look forward to being with you for many more.

AML

Autumnal Bliss

This weekend was amazing.

We collected pine cones, the ones with sap on the end and various other types. We collected colored leaves of yellow and red. Not many, but if you looked closely, you'd find them. We talked of everygreens, or prickly trees, and watched Pook go down the slide without any help.

We walked, climbed, sang, and breathed in the chilled air. We wore long sleeves and pants, drinking tea all day, eating hot soup...

We opened the curtains that we keep closed in the summer to keep out the warm sun, and welcomed it in. We aired the house with open windows.

I found myself wanting to hunker down, crochet, curl up in a warm blanket and not leave the house. I thought about finding excuses to celebrate the holidays at our house, insteading of returning to celebrate it with family.

Oh yea, Autumn is here. Lots of soups, freash breads, hot tea... what else can I bake? The promise of snuggles, fuzzy blankets, and hot cocoa...

I'm SO there.

Connecting with the outdoors

After my last post, I needed to refocus on something more positive.

Yesterday, I made it a point to take advantage of the wonderful weather. We managed to eat 3 meals out on the back deck. Pook even did her work outside in the afternoon. Tracing lines and letters, and telling me how much she loved me.

I think that she, too, knew the importance of being outside. It was a special treat, and she was SO excited about it. I think she told me over 25 times how much she loved me.

Lately, I've realized that the last few years, I've somehow missed the slight and sweet transition from spring into full bloom. I'm really taking note of the green shoots on the shrubs, the blossoming trees, the little things. How have I missed these things? Has my life be spiraling so fast in the past?

Being outdoors has actually helped me to slow down, take a breath, and be aware. Lately, things have been picking up. There's been lots to do (not to mention the explosion of creating things around here), and we got caught up in the rush.

But yesterday, being outside made a huge difference. I've still a lot to do, but it all seems to fade away in the wind.

Creation

I don't know if I've told you, but lately, I'm bursting forth with creative energy. From poems, to sewing, to crochetting - I. Can't. Stop. (And yes, I'm completely away of how grammatically incorrect that is. But I'm going for feeling here peeps.)

Seriously, it's the most amazing and wonderful thing. I keep making things. I've a pile of fabric and a sewing machine on my dinning room table, and you know what? I don't care if it's cluttering up the space - it's beautiful in my eyes!

I love to stop and look, sometimes even touch the fabric. The possibilities are endless. And the best part? I'm not even into patterns. The excitement comes from what can I make with this on my own without following rules or doing it a certain way.

Since I've been doing this with sewing and creating expecially, I've rediscovered this vast joy I wasn't aware of. It's amazing! I don't want this energy to ever leave!

Who knows what possibilities are out there? Who knows what I'll create next?

Happy March?

Oh my, seems time's slipped through my fingers once more. Here it is March already.

I'm liking all the green I'm seeing this month, even if it isn't green grass. It's been inspiring.

However, since March has started, I've been a bit of a slacker, although, I'm not sure if that is the proper term. Really. Unmade beds, not caring about getting rid of clutter, and thought the house isn't in shambles, I haven't been rushing about to clean it or anything. And you know what? I've actually been enjoying just being and not fretting about that sort of stuff. Quite freeing don't ya know.

Yesterday, though the bed didn't get made, we did do some nummy baking. Good stuff! Pook did more drawings and writing. Did I mention that on Saturday, Da hubby asked her to write her name? She did it. He had to help her with the last letter, but she wrote out the rest. Yup, my eyes were leaky for a bit.

Each day, I think I fall more in love with my sweet one.

A Quiet Sunday

Yesterday was the most splendid day. Actually, this whole weekend was quite lovely. But yesterday - it snowed! AND Daddy was home to enjoy it with us.

I love snow. I love it more when Da Hub gets to enjoy it with us. Of course, he was shoveling the sidewalk during Pook's and my outdoor walk. But he was home, and when he looked out the window, I could move up behind him, wrap my arms round his waist, and hold tight.

While walking in the snow, I am still amazed and enthralled by the quietness outside. I thought, that it being Sunday, there would be kids on sleds - but they didn't emerge until afternoon sometime. And so, sweet Pook and I walked among snowflakes, leaving foot prints.

At times, there were two sets, other times one set - from when I carried her, or she walked in mine. I'd pick her up, and she'd dust the powdery snow from my hood. Too bad it wasn't good packing snow, else, I'd have a picture of a snow man to share. But maybe, just maybe we'll get out and play in it today.

I was also blissfully aware of the flakes, and managed to notice 3 perfectly shaped (as though carefully cut from the ice) flower and crystal shaped flakes. I marveled, dared not breathe, as I watched them melt. Bliss.

For dinner, I made homeade lentil soup, to compliment homeade bread. Pook, ate 3 bowls of it!

I had a chance to read, relax, snuggle - and even let go of a huge chunk of my past.

You see, I'd had 6 binders of email tips, exercises (mental, physical, spiritual), dream house bits (pictures, paitn swatches, rooms)... and Da hub and I sat down, whilst Pook watched Robin Hood, and went through ALL of them.

Somethings, I saved (we're down to 1 binder). Others, he had to throw away for me. But by the end, I was able to toss. I'd held on to these things for over 8 years, some maybe even over 10 years. I've never once referred to them. After I read them, in they'd go. In some cases, I never even read them, just shoved them in.

And so now, I've got 5 empty binders.

At first, I was panicked! But as the day passed on, I felt freer and lighter. Just looking at those binders had been stressing me out. Even the house binder - with pictures, paint swatches, and designs of our dream home - GONE! Now, I feel free to accept a gift of a house, instead of trying to control and plan each and every detail. It's exciting to be open to possibilities, I might not be, because I'd closed them off.

And so, last night, as we all snuggled into sleep, upon fresh flannel sheets, I smiled as I realized the gift this day had been.

Basking in Love

This morning, my heart is open, love pouring forth. I am blissfully happy and content.

I realized, for the first time (ever I think, save for those years as a child this might've applied!) I do not want. Yes, there are things I'd like, but I don't NEED them, nor do I have that incomplete feeling when I think about them.

I have all I need:
- A wonderful, amazing, loving husband, who understands me and my quirkiness, yet embraces me anyway.

- A sweet, angelic child who knows just when her kisses are needed, and takes my face into her hands to do so.

- A place to call home, that's cozy and warm, and filled with happy memories.

- Family and friends who are absolutely amazing, wonderful, and marvelous gifts in my life.

- A sense of happiness, a heart overflowing with love, and the ability to be aware of my life blessings.

Aho!

Children's bliss

Nothing beats the good morning wishes and smile from a just-waking Pook, who then proceeds to snuggle up in your lap, and hug and kiss you profusely.

I adore my child.

She truly has the ability to lighten up my day and my heart.

This weekend, we broke out the Christmas decorations and Christmas movies. She's like a kid in the candy store between the new movies and the Christmas tree, oh, and the colored lights in the bedroom. As we've watched those movies, I noticed that most of them have an ongoing theme - of children growing up.

I can assure you, that this week especially, those hugs and kisses are treasured above and beyond. In fact, I've made it a point to make each of these moments sacred in some way in my heart.

Simple Joys... and realizations

Lately (perhaps because I've been taking the Simple Abundance Journey) I've been thinking about simple little things that bring me joy.

I thought I'd share:

• a good yoga session
• journaling (or blogging)
• an uninterupted bubble bath
• being up before dawn, in the quiet morning, sans other awake family members
• reading a good book or article
• snuggling with da pook
• watching da pook sleep
• when da pook kisses me on the cheek making the "Mwa!" sound
• napping in the afternoon
• napping in a hammock in the sunshine
• spending time in the woods of my friend
• eating vegetables and fruits fresh from the garden
• drinking hot tea while watching it snow out the window
• sitting on the back porch
• basking in the quietness of underwater at a swimming pool in hot summer
• the scent of fall
• walking outdoors
• gathering fall leaves, and watching the trees change color
• dancing
• creating art - painting, writing, sketching
• writing love letters
• meditation or just focusing on the breath
• indugling in a bit of really, really good chocolate (or chocolate pudding!)

I could probably go on, but those are a few of the things that popped into my head. It was a late night (da pook was up late, and ended up sleeping with us), but a peaceful morning.

We spent the weekend in PJs, watching movies, snuggling, and playing with da pook. It was quiet, laid back, and relaxed, as it should be. And, as a bonus, I had some pretty intense self-revelations. (It's amazing what happens to the mind when you take time to just rest and be.)

You see, I read this article in Yoga Journal (I think that's where it was), and the article basically said, that when you are upset, you are the one with the problem. As I've gone through my life blaming others for disrepecting me, or upseting me, "making me angry, sad, etc."... this just really hit home for me this weekend. A part of me has known this, but, you can know something, and spout things from a book for ages, until the day when BAM! you get it. So it took over 30 years... but this time it hit, and it stuck.

You see, I see people (relationships especially) much differently than I did 10 years ago. (Well, 10 years ago, I was a totally different person for the most part, but that's another story.) These part few years, I've been learning, and admitting that: I've got an ego (which used to be MUCH Bigger than it is now), I've suffered from a queen complex (i.e. the world revolves around me), and I used to have not clue how to tune into myself, and everything depending on outside sources, so, even with a big ego, the self-esteem was nil. How people put up with me... well, if they did, they must've really love me. And some of them still do! ;)

In any case, this was just another of those discoveries for me, especially as I've been experiencing challenges with two people in my life, that just seem to push all my buttons. But, when I looked at it from the standpoint that I was the one upset, and thus the one with the problem.

Wow.

Perhaps it's all the warrior poses I've been doing lately, but this weekend, I feel I've reclaimed my personal power. People don't upset you; it's you who get upset. Think about it. People are who they are. The only person you can change, is you. When it comes to other people, you need to accept them for who they are. Maybe they'll change, maybe they won't.

These people are who they are. I didn't want to accept them. I wanted them to be more respectful and drop the victimization bull and drama. A part of my wanted to be in control (I so hate admitting that... ) and stop them, or do something about what I percieved as "wrong" behavior. But, that is up to them. So, I gave myself permission to say No to these people, cut them out of my life (which, I've tried, but I see now, they're in my life for a reason, and I am learning from them... maybe there is a greater reason behind all this), but also permission to keep them in my life but not feel responsible for them.

Does that make sense?

And so, I enter this week with yet another new perspective. Wow. I need more NFP weekends! Luckily, it's winter, and that's what we do.