I thought I'd share:
- a good yoga session
- journaling (or blogging)
- an uninterupted bubble bath
- being up before dawn, in the quiet morning, sans other awake family members
- reading a good book or article
- snuggling with da pook
- watching da pook sleep
- when da pook kisses me on the cheek making the "Mwa!" sound
- napping in the afternoon
- napping in a hammock in the sunshine
- spending time in the woods of my friend
- eating vegetables and fruits fresh from the garden
- drinking hot tea while watching it snow out the window
- sitting on the back porch
- basking in the quietness of underwater at a swimming pool in hot summer
- the scent of fall
- walking outdoors
- gathering fall leaves, and watching the trees change color
- dancing
- creating art - painting, writing, sketching
- writing love letters
- meditation or just focusing on the breath
- indugling in a bit of really, really good chocolate (or chocolate pudding!)
I could probably go on, but those are a few of the things that popped into my head. It was a late night (da pook was up late, and ended up sleeping with us), but a peaceful morning.
We spent the weekend in PJs, watching movies, snuggling, and playing with da pook. It was quiet, laid back, and relaxed, as it should be. And, as a bonus, I had some pretty intense self-revelations. (It's amazing what happens to the mind when you take time to just rest and be.)
You see, I read this article in Yoga Journal (I think that's where it was), and the article basically said, that when you are upset, you are the one with the problem. As I've gone through my life blaming others for disrepecting me, or upseting me, "making me angry, sad, etc."... this just really hit home for me this weekend. A part of me has known this, but, you can know something, and spout things from a book for ages, until the day when BAM! you get it. So it took over 30 years... but this time it hit, and it stuck.
You see, I see people (relationships especially) much differently than I did 10 years ago. (Well, 10 years ago, I was a totally different person for the most part, but that's another story.) These part few years, I've been learning, and admitting that: I've got an ego (which used to be MUCH Bigger than it is now), I've suffered from a queen complex (i.e. the world revolves around me), and I used to have not clue how to tune into myself, and everything depending on outside sources, so, even with a big ego, the self-esteem was nil. How people put up with me... well, if they did, they must've really love me. And some of them still do! ;)
In any case, this was just another of those discoveries for me, especially as I've been experiencing challenges with two people in my life, that just seem to push all my buttons. But, when I looked at it from the standpoint that I was the one upset, and thus the one with the problem.
Wow.
Perhaps it's all the warrior poses I've been doing lately, but this weekend, I feel I've reclaimed my personal power. People don't upset you; it's you who get upset. Think about it. People are who they are. The only person you can change, is you. When it comes to other people, you need to accept them for who they are. Maybe they'll change, maybe they won't.
These people are who they are. I didn't want to accept them. I wanted them to be more respectful and drop the victimization bull and drama. A part of my wanted to be in control (I so hate admitting that... ) and stop them, or do something about what I percieved as "wrong" behavior. But, that is up to them. So, I gave myself permission to say No to these people, cut them out of my life (which, I've tried, but I see now, they're in my life for a reason, and I am learning from them... maybe there is a greater reason behind all this), but also permission to keep them in my life but not feel responsible for them.
Does that make sense?
And so, I enter this week with yet another new perspective. Wow. I need more NFP weekends! Luckily, it's winter, and that's what we do.
2 comments:
Glad to hear it Stacie. Although, I think you've just covered all the more reasons that you should take a bubble bath - to practice calming your mind. Bring in a good book, or listen to music. Tell yourself that you deserve 20 minutes to soak in a tub of bubbles. Practice does make perfect! :)
Ah... jealousy. Yup. Been there, done that. It's that poisonous emotion that just seems to eat away at you, yet, it's entirely you feeling it. Most of the time the person you are jealous of doesn't give a damn, or, gets off on your feeling that way about them.
I used to have issues with jealousy - both feeling it, and being on the recieving end of it. For the longest time, I got really pissed off at jealous people (partly because I was fed up with the games, partly because I hated that I felt it too).
I think (from my own experience), that jealousy stems from two areas:
1 - wanting what you don't have and someone else does
2 - not being able to control that person or situation
In terms of 1, the easiest way to deal with it, is to be secure in who you are, and just really enjoy what you have. When you are really enjoying your life, it's hard to want what another has.
In terms of 2, it's about releasing the control, and dealing with the discomfort. Think of your situation as a wonderful exercise in trusting your boyfriend and yourself. :)
I always tell people (yeah, I know) that when you are angry or uncomfortable around a person, so much so that you won't go to a place where they are, you are giving your power to them. Scary thought (and yes, incredibly ironic considering my last post).
Maybe you can try accepting the person for who they are (doesn't mean you have to like them!), and give yourself permission to not like them, or, to change your mind down the road. It's very freeing.
Good luck with the whole situation! Think about the potential of self-growth you have.
Stacie,
Sometimes, that 20 minutes of warm, scented goodness is worth all of the water. Sometimes, you've just got to decide how worthy you are of a good bath (or other relaxing activity).
:)
And, if you've got one of those super big tubs, that takes an hour to fill (like my ILS), then read a book in it. Light up some candles and play some music.
You'd be surprised what happens when you give you brain a rest. Though, granted, if you don't stop your brain on a regular basis, it can be scary at first, because you are giving time to all those thoughts you usually run away from.
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