Last day of January

I feel as though I've spent this month in a daze. Perhaps because in a way I have. I'm taking things day by day, moment by moment, because really, that is all I can do.

Peeking out through congestion

I spent most of this morning in the doctor's office with Pook. She got a fever again this weekend, but checks out just fine. I need to give her time to recoup, so we'll be home again tomorrow.

This bug has been around for 2 weeks. Yup, 2 weeks. I started with the congestion about a week and a half ago, and the other stuff before. I'm not even going to tell you about last week, save that the couch was the favorite spot.

Right now, all I want to do is hole up and sleep. Doing even the most menial tasks requires energy that seems to get zapped quickly. I feel burnt out.

So, I just suck it up and rest. Because if I don't, the cycle relapses.

Back...

We are back. And, let me tell you, it was an adventure. Pook loved it, and rode the roller coasters like a pro complete with arms in the air and lots of screaming. And no, I didn't get to do ride this time around. I've got a great reason of course.
Aside from the roller coaster adventure, there were other highlights. But, you'll have to wait, as Pook got sick. Then hubby got sick, and, I got sick.

So, when I'm not feeling so bad, maybe I'll feel up to writing more.

Until then...

Wake up call

This past weekend I was forced to realize that there are some things in life I can do nothing about, regardless of the people involved and how much I care about them. The kicker is, that even if I wanted to help, I can't. Why? Because a simple phone call raised my blood pressure to the point where Pook noticed it, and I ended up sick for the rest of the evening. And, right now, that is NOT a good thing.

In the past, I would listen to each side, offer tidbits of advice, stay on the sidelines with support. But now, I can't even listen without feeling my chest tighten up.

So, because I value my health and need to stay healthy right now, I have to let it go and step away. I don't know how to tell these people that I love that I can no longer listen to who did what, and how horrible so-and-so is. All of my life, I've listened and been supportive. I love them unconditionally (even though they've driven me nuts on occasion).

Maybe I'm just living in my little fantasy world, but I need to stay positive right now. I need to surround myself with positive thoughts, people, and events. I love these people. And they each have their faults (who doesn't), and frankly, all I want to do IS love them. I don't want to judge them. I don't want to get involved.

I just want to love them.

Sometimes, I wonder if that is enough. To just love, even though I am physically unable to listen and support each of them as they all deal with their issues. Looks as though it has to be. It's all I can give right now.

And then, how do I tell them I can't listen? Then mere thought of telling them - I can't hear this anymore, flushes my face and my chest tightens. I feel like a wuss. Maybe, I'll just write them a letter. But will that work?

more blessings

more snow falling softly, gently against the previous snow, leaving flakes dancing in the wind... learning and teaching the types of fruits and vegetables, and how many Pook thinks she should eat a day... quiet time to read a few pages here and there... moments to clean off a shelf, and see all the books that wait for me to read... that tiredness that comes with my latest life transition, that reminds me to rest and take better care of myself...

Life's Little Blessings

I've decided to try an experiment. In order to encourage my focus to live consciously and with awareness this year, I've decided to start listing out the blessings in my life. Over the next 9 months, I need to get quite a few things in order. There are decisions to be made. Thoughts to ponder. Routines to set into place. Plans to make.

But most importantly, I feel that be connected with gratitude, and the joys and blessings in my life, that will make the strongest impact for me.

And so... let's begin...

snow, watching the snow, enjoying the snow, tender Pook kisses, homemade lentil soup, having hubby home on a snow day, working from home, roses for celebration, roses just because, hot cocoa, snuggles on the couch, moments to read, getting things done, watching a reading lesson, having hope

Life