Okay, I must admit that I'm inspired by Ed's most recent posting (See "A big thank you" from Feb 8). After seeing "Last Holiday" and Ed's post about celebrating because you can, (and, he SO has a reason - congrats again!!!) and life being too short...
I feel like I'm getting this message hammered into my head. I mean, am I really LIVING my life? Or, am I just hoarding up in my home hiding from it?
I've got this desire, this potent urge, to just go through and get rid of a ton of stuff. What if I did what my one friend did, and sold everything save for basics to travel? Or, my other friends, one of whom used to have only 3 plastic tubs of stuff, a suitcase, and a carry-on bag.
You see, I live in the middle of a lifestyle between my mother (grew up Depression era care of grandma) hoards everything (just in case) and Flylady (where you keep only what you love and use). Over the past 5 years, (when I first found Flylady) I've managed to declutter my clothes so that they only fill half the bedroom closet (and, it's NOT a walk in) and 3 big drawers in the triple dresser, plus a few coats in the coat closet, when it used to fill half the closet, all of the closet in the pook's room, and the coat closet, and the one in the study.
So, right about now, I've released a lot of mateiral items, and with these items, a lot of emotional baggage and mental stuff.
But lately, I've wanted to get rid of more, but, I'm afriad to. I'm love books. I've got a ton of books. I've got boxes of books in the basement to hold on to for pook when she gets older, because I want to homeschool her. I've got a binder of dream house stuff. I've got a binder of tidbits on keeping your house (what to check seasonally, etc.) that I never refer to. I've got several binders of my writings from the past, that I plan to go back and revise. (I used to want to be a writer.)
I've got some old glass jars I've saved for craft projects, among other silly little baubles. I've got a study closet filled with art supplies for me and pook, extra notebooks, looseleaf, binders, etc. I've got books on basic HTML, books of reference for work, books that look gorgeous, but I've never read. Yet, I hold onto this stuff, because I might need it someday.
And yet, I wonder... if I got rid of this stuff, would it matter? Would I free myself from the guilt of not writing anymore? Should I get rid of the box of costume and party stuff, or save it for when Pook gets older?
Sometimes, sometimes, I want to do something radical, and just shed it all and start over. To not have to worry about stuff. To live a simple life, off in a 2 or three room cabin somewhere, focusing on growing fresh veggies in the warm months, and settling in with books in the cold months.
Having a child, of course, brings more stuff into your life. Because then, you've got toys, clothes, and a plethora of other little things.
I keep wondering if we had a smaller house, would we have less stuff, or more stuff in smaller space? Hubby wants to get a bigger house for the next kiddo, and I've got to tell you, I've got concerns that a bigger house would lead to more stuff. And, I love my hubby, but we both have issues with getting rid of certain things.
What is it that we really need? Obviously, I'm longing for simplicity again. (I've tendency of simplyfiying my life, and then some how accumulating more projects when I'm not looking. ARgh.)
Ah, and then, I look back on all of this, and realize that I'm caught up in the "what might happens", eh? Well that, and I think I've just discovered I'm rather obsessed with my house. Blarg. I'm not sure if I like that. But, considering I'm in it, everyday, for practically 24 hours a days (save a few days here and there). Oh God... I gotta get out more!
I think though, after looking at this, that my big "wonder" is what can I let go of in my life? What are the necessaries, versus the unecessaries? In other words, what am I holding onto, that I don't need to. I mean, do I really need to have all these websites listed in my favorites that I never check, and don't enjoy, but that I use to help me procrastinate from work?
Hmmm.... thoughts on this?
5 comments:
Ask Phil... my house has about 3000 more things in it than it needs to. With Linda's help I have slowly been learning to let go of things with no financial or sentimental value. One could write songs about the Spring Cleaning I am preparing...
For me the desire to declutter is the desire to filter distraction. It really isn't the clutter's fault that I am distracted by it. It is my fault that I allow it to distract me. 8) Nevertheless, the clutter must deal with my failings and find a new place to fill.
For me the trick has been recognizing that there is no wrong direction. Whatever you do, if you put your whole self into it, you will make it satisfying for you.
The Japanese think of such things as "Do" (Way). To immerse yourself in an activity to self-realization. It doesn't matter so much what the activity is... even something otherwise painfully dull, like ikebana or bonsai.
Perhaps a better way to put it is wherever you go... there you are. Your bring yourself to all of your activities and, as such, any activity -- radical or not -- can bring you peace.
Now, dump a pinch of salt on the above because it comes from someone with a cluttered house and 47 hobbies.
-Ed
ps. I used to want to be a writer too. What on earth happened??
Well, since I've been decluttering, it gets quite addicting. I actually going through my stuff each spring and fall. Good will gets lots of donations from our house. (It drives my mom BUGGY!)
I'm not sure how to explain it, but after a while, all that space and room feels REALLY good. When we first got married, I had about 3-4 times the amount of stuff that my hubby did. Now, we're probably about even. Although, Pook might just surpass us the way the grandparents are going... :)
I bet you guys will be going through a lot of stuff before baby arrives. Has Linda started the nesting thing yet? My hubby "loved" that part of the pregnancy. It's the funniest thing, suddenly, the house has to be "just right". Heaven help the person who gets in the way, or is unwilling to help. ;)
Ah... writing. I think "real life" is what happened. I still love to do it. Even included it in my major, but, I found that I write best when I'm inspired. And, that tends to happen in spurts, it's not an everyday thing.
I think too, part of me never really wanted to get tired of it. I wanted it to be something I treasured and enjoyed.
Sure did make college courses fun for me at least.
First off, yes, Ed's house is like walking in to a minefield of clutter. You really can't go more than 3-4ft without wondering if you will knock something over. (well, other than the hallway... no wait, there too)
Two real points for now:
#1 I have found that no matter the size of the house, MUCH like backpacking, if you have the space you will fill it. I am sure there is a medical term for this, but it is true. In college we had a small room and we filled it with what we needed to live and made do. Then we got an apartment, and made do. Now we have a house and fill it from the washing machine to the attic with stuff. All along the way, we are making money to get new things.
It is sad, and I know I ought to have less. I suppose thats why I am so damn stingy on buying new things. Well, that and I HATE going in to debt for stuff.
#2 I collect. I admit it, I like the thrill of figuring out something that is worth something in an area of my life that means something. Like Boy Scouts, I have two large bins full of stuff from my Boy Scouting past... half of which I would consider 'collectable' in that someone would pay me more for it than I did. I have a framed patch collection for heaven's sake!
http://flickr.com/photos/mdu2boy/30778851
Anyway, the first step to fixing a problem is admitting you have one. Lets see if I can get to the next step without too much trouble... know anyone who wants a Simpons' Trivia game?
See, that's why I'm leary of moving into a new house with more space. I am really happy with where we are right now, in fact, I think we could do with less.
However, we want to add to the family at somepoint. So... that would mean at least another room. Unless I wanted to bunk the kids together.
And then, I'm a believer that hubby needs his own space. Of course, he'd love a little bungalo of his own in the back yard, but for now, he's got the basement.
I would like a backyard where I could grow fresh veggies though. :)
It's funny, isn't it? I've found that since I've been decluttering, I rethink what I buy for the most part too. But, I still get a few things in here and there. Guess it's the girl in me. I like cute hand towels in the kitchen (even though I don't need them) and since I've lost weight, I like cute clothes that fit me better. I do, however, have the rule, that if I buy a piece of clothing, I've got to get rid of another piece.
Hey, maybe we should all start a declutter support group! :)
Nope, don't know anyone into a Simpson's Triva game... sorry! When I lived in MD, we used to have a groups of people get together twice a year with their "clutter", and do a clothes/clutter swap. It was fun, and anything not taken, was donated.
Interesting point Stacie. I, personally, could live in a 1 room cabin and be just fine and dandy. However, add a hubby into the mix, and two kids that will eventually be teens...
Each one will need their own space of some sort. Preferably their own room. So they can close the door and I won't have to see the mess. ;)
For us, right now, we've a family of 3 (hopefully 4 some day). We get a lot of guests here (they like all the green and mountains), so, we need a guest room, or at least a room where they can sleep.
I know! Maybe I'll just buy a lot of land, and everyone can have their own cabin! ;)
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