Powerful Words and Ed

This morning, I was blessed to read the following posted by Ed (so nice to have you back):

While certainly no expert on the subject, I know that life is too precious and too unpredictable to be taken for granted.

And that's really what we do when we get angry at someone we care about, or when we get angry at someone whose approval we are seeking. We take them for granted, since the act of being angry with them, of judging and distancing from them, is to punish them, to seek some emotional equilibrium and that takes for granted the idea that they will be around long enough for this process to work itself through. When we have been wronged, it is too easy to transform someone into an ideal and forget that they are, in reality, a human -- and quite temporarily so.

You can read his full post here.

Now, I really admire Ed. (Did you know that?) Actually, I always have because he is such a vibrant person (at least that's how I see him). In college, he'd walk into a room, and I swear that room would light up, and in moments, he'd have someone laughing or smiling. Even when he was extremely exhausted, he'd managed to say something to get you to smile.

I'll never forget how, during a very uncomfortable situation where I'd let my wonderful ego go ballistic, he sat down with me, talked to me in person, was honest and upfront with his feelings, and, on top of everything else, dared to express feelings of concern for me where others dare not tread (as I was quite prideful then). When it was all said and done, all that really stuck out about the whole messy situation, was that Ed wasn't afraid to tell me, that regardless of the mess I'd made, he still cared and was concerned.

We don't know each other well; we aren't best buddies or anything like that, but as long as I've known him, he has always provided me with food for thought about my own life. Especially since he started blogging.

From what I do know, we seem to been vastly different in some areas. He's able to see things in a way that I don't. And I'm so glad I've people like that in my life (even if it is through a blog), because I tend to think that each person lives life according to their own way, and when you meet someone who sees things differently, it adds a new perspective and tint to your own life, if you let it.

So Ed, I hope I haven't embaressed you or anything, by shouting my admiration for you out here in the blog sphere, but, your last post hit the nail on the head for me. Especially this part:

And it helps take the edge off of family feuds, because when someone is gone, there is no chance for them to right past wrongs. There is no chance to hear them say I'm sorry, or for you to say you're sorry.

Anger has always been an issue for me, and reading your post, suddenly, I realized just how much of my life I've wasted being angry, how many people I've hurt or pushed away to whom I may never be able to apologize, how I could be spending my time being grateful for what I have, and being appreciative...

So thank you, Ed. Your words maybe just for your ownself to read 10 years from now, but today, your words have reached out and touched my heart where it really needed to be touched. And, I appreciate them and you.

And in light of that --

For those of you out there who read this, and those that don't even know this blog exists, if my actions (particularly those involving my ego and anger, but not subjected to only these) have caused a rift, hurt feelings or any other type of negative action (or reaction, depending) -

From the depths of love within my heart, I am sorry.

I apologize for not being more appreciative and letting you know you were appreciated, for letting my anger and ego have the better of me. Know too, I am grateful for having you in my life. Whether it was for a moment or a lifetime, whether you be flesh and blood, a stranger on the street, a friend who I've lost contact with ... you have touched my life in some way. And I appreciate that.