This word has been very prominent in my life, especially since November, and not just because it's what I'd like my life to be more like. I've literally seen it on magazines, websites, and this month, Sarah Ban Breathenache's book Simple Abundance promises to focus on it. So, I'm thinking the universe is giving me a message. Now, am I willing to listen and put it into practice?
Saturday I went to a discussion on what constitutes "The Simple Life", or, a life of simplicity. It was amazing to discover what everyone considered neccessary to live a simple life, and what people weren't willing to "give up", and just what the general definitions were.
Quite a few of the people there, were farmers who believe in growing organic food, getting eggs from chickens, raising cows or pigs for meat, selling fruits and veggies at local farmer's markets, and were all in agreement that the life they were leading, was anything but simple. In fact, it was a lot of hard work.
I've been working at simplifying my own life for the last 7 years or so after reading a book by Elaine St. James: Simplify Your Life, Inner Simplicity and I forget the other one. My life might have been much simpler had I not have gotten married and had a kid. :) And lately, I've not only admitted that my life is not only not simple, but that I have a tendency to complicate it.
I suppose that knowing this makes me ahead of the game. What's been really funny though, is that back in November, I began to crave simplicity. So, I dropped one huge thing. Since then, work's picked up considerably and complicated things much more.
Friday I was sitting in our library while Pook napped, and I looked around to see a mass of half- read books, half done projects, and a ton of added extras around the house. It was then I realized, that I've a nasty tendency to makes space in my life, only to "fill it" with other projects or activities, that I may or may not finish. As I sat there admist journaling long hand, and just sitting letting my mind putter about, I realized, that if just got rid of the half-read books, half-done projects, I wouldn't be worrying about how to find the time to finish them.
Or, I could also go through and finish them... which would take up more time...
I was beginning to see why I felt as though I'm spending all my free time catching up with my life. And I realized, I'm tired of racing to catch up, but still ending up so far behind.
Thus, I've come up with two questions:
* What can I live without?
* What do I want in my life?
At the discussion, we made a list of what the simple life excluded and included. We then started off by starting with what we all considered to be the simplest life, the life of a monk who lived in a cell with one robe, a board to sleep on, no other material possessions, plenty of time to meditate and pray, who begs for food. Not everyone might agree, and could probably take this down further, but, this is where we started.
Then we added to it. What helped me, was realizing that I already have a good part of the list in my life, I've just got a lot of added extras.
I realized, that for me, a simple life would include the following:
* time to meditate
* serenity
* peace and quiet
* community support (in other words, people who enjoy doing things I don't like to do: changing oil and caring for cars, accounting, helping with gardening, cooking, etc.)
* basic needs provided for: food, place to sleep and live, etc.
* creature comforts: hot, running water and plumbing, flowers outside, books to read, journal to write in, etc.
* comfortable
* living in the present moment
* balance and moderation (which is the key!)
* Fun, joy, play, create
Basically, more than enough to sustain me, but I want it to be a pleasureable experience.
I have most of this, or the ability to do most of this. Of course, I'm a mom to an almost 3-yr-old, I work (lots lately), and I'm married to a hubby not willing to give up the TV as it's good for playing games and watching movies, even though we don't watch TV programs (our TVs are to old to get clear channels).
And so, I come back to those questions:
What can I live without: TV (movies, DVDs, videos, games), a dining room, most of my decorations, worry, fear, frustration, anxiety, excess pots and pans, extra chairs and sofas,
What do I want in my life: Serenity, Pook, hubby, fun, play, painting/crafts, comfort, solace, organic food, wholesome-homeade foods as opposed to packaged microwaved foods, would love someone to cook aforementioned foods or more time to cook aforementioned foods, flowers, trees/nature, hot running water and indoor plumbing including a toilet, a comfy bed, at least some sort of seasonal decoration, chocolate, a good pair of jeans, music, books...
These are the things I'll be giving thought too, probably adding or maybe even subtracting from. I don't know. But what I do know, is that simplifying my life seems more attainable to me.
Now, if I could only find that anonymous benefactor so that hubby and I wouldn't have to work, it'd really be much more simple. ;)
3 comments:
I've been going through alot of the same thoughts on simplicty. I think alot of people, myself certainly included, tend to see their ascent to simplicty as being hampered by the things they collect. The imagery I have is a bit like being in a hot-air balloon with a leak -- we must constantly toss things over the edge to keep ourselves rising.
I know many people who live very complex lives without clutter. I know some who lead very simple lives and have alot of material items.
Too often the desire to declutter resulted in a choice between freeing up space and getting rid of something I wanted. That is not a road to simplicity -- it is punishing yourself for not being where you want to be. We have no reason to punish ourselves.
Real simplicity starts in our hearts and is that internal calm which I think we should all cultivate. When our thoughts become "I can't remember why I wanted this to begin with" instead of "I guess I'll grudgingly give this up" then we have made internal progress.
And our houses and schedules will follow suit, at our own pace. If we are our loved ones are happy then that is the prize. All else is trying to make others happy which, while noble, is really not the point of simplicity. One could argue it is quite the opposite. 8)
Sorry for the long comment, but just a few thoughts from someone else going down the same road. My conclusion? I would most like to have a happy, full, simple life. But, if given the choice to have a happy-complex-hectic life or a sad- dull-simple life, I choose happiness and experience every time. Because the end prize is an enriched life, not a life of self-denials and living spaces devoid of clutter. 8)
Actually Ed, I'm very grateful for your posts. It's really nice to have someone to converse with on the topic, because you always give me great things to think about. Plus, I've been a firm believer that people (virtual or in person) always come into our lives for a reason, and usually provide great "lessons" (for lack of a better word) if you pay attention, and in some cases good pals.
For me, it all started with getting rid of the clutter - on the physical and mental ends. But now, I still want less stuff, only it's not the material or physical.
For instance, I want to do more of what I'm happy doing, instead of those things that I'm ambivalent about, or that I just don't like. And, I don't like the complexity level that my life has gotten too right now.
Side note: I should add, that simplicity (for me)is the ability to say no and honor one's intuition.
I really like my job, but it's very mind-numbing when the hours get too long. It's put me in that position of having to prioritize what absolutely must get done, and trying to do that, while finding a balance with doing things I love (but are on that must-do-now list.)I think you mentioned before, about learning how to prioritize... right now, I'm forced to due to time constraints.
I love how your focus revolves around being happy - which is so important. I'm starting to realize, that there are many things in my own life, where I think "when this happens, then I'll feel...". It's a habit I'm working on breaking.
Like now, I'm really interested in creating a simpler life for myself, because I'm doing so much, that I'm having a hard time balancing everything. If I want to do something, which requires me loosing sleep, then Pook deals with a grumpy mommy.
I think what was so eye-opening for me, what that on Saturday, I realized that simplicity is so much more than getting rid of clutter. It IS simply being happy, or, as I like this word serene. You can live a life of simplicity with a ton of stuff, like you said. And that was so powerful for me.
Although, and I must that you Ed, I think you've just opened my eyes to something else. Perhaps, my desire to lead a life of more simplicity, is because I think that it will result in the happiness I'm not feeling right now.
Hmmmm... good one there. Thanks Ed!
I've never felt that my life was overly complicated nor too simplicistic. More along the lines of it all came along at the right time for the right reason.
Just Saturday evening I realized that I really liked being around people who are passionate about whatever it is they do... thats how I get inspiried to do things- I feed off what they have done or what to do. Great friends who are better people in and of thier own right.
I also think about what would my life be if my house burned down... all my possessions stripped from me, what would be left? How would I carry on? Would I be completely ruined?
Not a chance....
I know I have a great support structure in my family, amazing friends, knowledge, balance, and the talents to start over while not being completely handcuffed in life. (for the record, it would completely suck if that happened... the house thing)
These are all opporunties, chances, interactions and how you deal with it all... stuff... relationships... chances... work... everything, is up to you.
I find myself with nothing to do somedays, that I ought to be reading or out helping do something, yet I don't. Where as some days I feel like work is too much, that I have three other projects, and I wished I could have a new job.
But to be honest, again, it is how I take it. It is all relative to my view on the world as collected by my expriences and views.
I am not saying any one way is wrong or right, but it is how you handle and go on is what makes your life simple, complex, or just right for you.
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