Freedom

Lately, I've been aware of a tendency of mine to trap myself in a box, and forget that at anytime, I can just open the lid and crawl out, or, even better, open the door and walk out.

There've been two aspects of my life recently, where I've done this as of late, and finally, the other day, thanks to the darling advice of a friend who told me, "Grace, you don't have to do any of this", I was free.

She was right. We don't have to move. (This being the bigger of the two.) We can still look, but we don't have to MOVE. We can make do where we are, and in the process save money, spend wisely, and maybe even pay off the house.

Wow. What a concept. Right in line with The Compact I'd mentioned previously. Which has influenced us actually.

Last night, while hubby fought off his NyQuil-ed state long enough for our nightly chats (which haven't been happening due to late bedtimes and NyQuil-ed induced sleeps), we were discussing the "break" that we were taking regarding two big decisions in our lives. One being moving...

Though we've decided to still look at houses, I must admit, that part of me just wants to let it go completely, and focus on paying off the house we now live in and save up money.

As I drifted off to sleep, I found myself thinking of things that I'd want to do with the current house: I planned where I could plant a raised veggie garden, but then it might be best to fence in the backyard with all the cats round here (and deer), which would decrease the light; add steps to the back deck; get a tool shed to hold the mower, lawn, gardening and snow stuff; clear out the dead bush and shrubs in the back - maybe a small tool shed could go there; go through our stuff to see what we really need, and what we can give away or get rid of to create more space... My mind was active, very active.

But it felt good to think of these things, because for the last 6 months, I'd been thinking along the lines of - can't do that until we move, better not get that, until we move, that's on hold... until we move. I'd gotten stuck in stagnation.

I did mention how good I can be at creating little boxes in which to shut myself, didn't I?

So now, I'm feeling much better and lighter. Hubby and I still have things to talk about and discuss, but I've freed myself to be more present now. I don't know where things are going, or what will happen, which is good, as I fretted over things that hadn't happened and put things on hold until they did.

Thank goodness for friends who can let you know, that you just don't have to!