Year of the Fire Dog!

I know the dog lovers will love this. I was going to type up this thought-provoking blurb about the Chinese New Year, and then I found this:

http://www.dailyom.com/articles/2006/2004.html I'd print the article here, but I'm respecting the copyrights. :)

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In our house, we celebrate the Chinese New Year. At one time it was with a party, but, since Da Pook, we've bowed off and chosen to hibernate instead. Although, we do still decorate for it, and today we placed 9 bowls of various fruits and nuts (each represent different things, and, in some cases we had to improvise) that you eat to bring you certain things.

And let me just say this... the first party we had, I was chowing down on lotus seeds, fresh from our friends in Taiwan. They were delightful. However, I immediately stopped once I found out they brought you fertility. Da Pook was concieved in July of that year. To this day, I'm still leary of the lotus seed!

The Perfect Saturday...(Almost)

I sit here in my cozy chair at my cozy desk, recently decorated with fresh tulips thanks to my mom (thanks mom!), with my 16 oz chai latte made for me by my "latte boyfriend". It's been a delightful Saturday that started out with morning cuddles and a back scratch (without an almost 3-yr-old sandwiched between us), a delightful breakfast of crepes filled with fresh blackberries and topped with a yogurt/brownsugar/vanilla extract mix (I had no fresh whipping cream on hand), a lovely chat with Mom, and then we were off to have lunch at a delightful little French cafe (yes, really, a French cafe in this mountainous state!) .

You see, my latte boyfriend works at the Starbucks coffee shop next to it. Why is he my latte boyfriend or LBF (who I now have a real name for)? Simple. Because I'm a sucker for a great chai latte (and I spend lots of time eating at the French cafe!).

When I first got a chai latte, I was sitting on the front porch of the place enjoying it and chatting with a friend. My LBF was returning from outside, and actually stopped and asked me how the chai was. The next time I ordered one, I was actually in the restaurant with my hubby and 2 male friends, and he came to the table and asked me how it was. So, after a while, I just started waving and saying hi to him, and he's always asked me how my chai was. (And, yes, he didn't talk to or ask my hubby or 2 male friends, or any of the other friends I've been with when ordering a chai, thus is why he's my LBF.)

Today, however, I had some time to chat with him while he made our lattes. We were both very excited discussing how whole milk makes a chai latte too rich, but skim milk is just right, and he was very excited that Mom and I felt his lattes to be better than Panera's. I found out his real name, and found out that he's from PG county in MD. He's a real sweetie. And now I can greet him by saying "Hi XXXXX!" when I see him, instead of not having a clue as to who he is.

I know, I'm such a sucker for places with that extra bit of customer service. But then, I love how when I visit the French place, Da Pook is befriended by the owner, and gets to go back and meet with "the boys" (the chefs) , giving Mommy and Daddy a chance to eat their meal. I love knowing the owner, having her bring out a plate of chips as we are sitting down for Da Pook, and not charging us, because she knows Da pook loves them. I like having a LBF who knows how I like my chai, says hi to me, who cares if I like my chai (and that he makes a wicked one), and who DH teases me about. :)

So here I sit at my desk, typing my thoughts, sharing my wonderful Saturday morning with you. Da Pook is fast asleep napping. The house is quiet as Mom is downstairs caught up in the Angels and Demons boon by Dan Brown she bought yesterday, and hubby is typing away on his puter.

I am indeed content. In fact, I've begun to be more aware of my contentedness, because I really think I used to take peaceful moments for granted. I used to truly think things like:

• When I have a new desk, I'll be more organized and be able to enjoy it.
• When I have a new house, I'll have more room, plant a garden, do this, do that, etc.
• When I have this, then I'll feel...
• And so on.

But today, I love this old desk from my hubby's parents. There are circular stains by my monitor. The fresh tulips make me think of spring and make me smile. There are papers scattered on it, but it gives it that "lived in feel". And though I usually prefer darker wood stains... right now, I just really, really love the way the walnut finich complements the black puter.

It floors me, that I didn't always appreciate things or people, as I do now. Life is too short. I appreciate all sorts of things now. Little things, big things, reconnecting with people I once knew or cut from my life... It really truly makes life worth living. It makes being alive all the more. It's amazing.

I appreciate the grayness of the sky, the cut out paper hearts hanging from my window. The picture of me and DH before we married. I even appreciate that today is warm, like spring, even when it should be cold and snowy.

Life is filled with so many little things and details that get over looked. Go out and look. Go out and live. Go out and find yourself a latte boyfriend (or girlfriend) and let them know how much you appreciate they way they make it for you (it'll make their day). Snuggle with your pets or children, walk in the woods (Phil's got this covered!) and crunch some leaves. Notice the little things.

As for me? I'm going to take a few more moments to appreciate this desk as is, before I clear it up, and settle in with a good book.

Oh, and for all you out there reading this, those who I know, and even those I don't - I appreciate you. I do. My heart is runnuthing over with joy and gratitude, and I want to share it with everyone today.

It just makes the world so much better.

PS> I added a slew of new blogs that I'm currently addicted to. I just can't help myself! :)

Winter, finally here?

It's snowing today. It snowed on Saturday too, but Saturday's wasn't quite as enjoyable because we were out driving around in it. But right now - it's glorious.

I don't know if it's because I work from home now, or if it's because I just didn't appreciate it before. But then, I really don't think I ever learned how to appreciate my life until recently... if that makes sense.

I can remember sitting in the office, wishing my days away until the weekend. I can remember seeing snow, and cursing it because I had to drive home in it. I didn't go out and play in it like I do now. I didn't appreciate my job (which paid well and let me get away with as much procrastination as possible), or many other things in my life.

Hmmmm...

Now, when I see snow, I get excited like a child. (Though, not nearly as excited as Da Pook.) Actually, I'm just as excited when I see the first signs of spring, dive into the water come summer, and crunch the leaves in fall.

So today, it's that cozy grayness outside, while whisps of white dance outside in the corner of my eye. It's not laying yet, but it's SNOWING. And that's what's so cool.

Maybe this year, I'll actually make it out to one of my friends farms to sled. Yay snow. Yay winter!

Attitude of Gratitude

Perhaps this post is in tribute to the recent readings from Sarah Ban Breathenache's book Simple Abundance, or maybe it was my husband's comment this morning about how he envies my choice to sleep in if I choose to, but in any case, I feel the need, almost desire to share the gratitude I have for my life here on this blog.

And I'd like to encourage others today, to take time our and just be grateful for what you have, where you are, and if you aren't, then look, really look for it today. Why? Because being greatful opens your eyes to gifts you may not have known.

So here it goes. I realized this morning, that I love my life. There, I've said it. I love and adore my child. I love and adore my sweet husband. I am grateful that I work from home, that I can set up playdates during the week for Da Pook, and yet still offer an income for our household.

I am grateful that my husband not only cooks, but enjoys cooking. I'm grateful that when we get angry, we can express it, see that we have both usually contributed in someway, and get over it. I am grateful that he has taught me how to take time out for me, and do things for me, and that he encourages that we spend time together, as well as apart (even if it's just him hiding out in the basement cave). I am grateful for his hugs, his sweet smile, and his willingness to work together as a team in our marriage. We'll be married 5 years this year. I am grateful for how far we've come in our relationship, for the growth we've both experienced, and for our willingness to communicate.

It's changed me as a person in so many ways I can't even count. There was a movie out on lifetime... and I always remember this phrase, "What is it that we are all looking for? The one who makes us better than we are alone." And that, is my sweet darling hubby.

I am grateful that I had a child who loves me, for small hands upon my cheek, for the sweet scent of innocence and baby shampoo, and for the wisp of soft hair along my face. For the warm, cuddly, squiggly child in my lap while I try to type. I am grateful for the soft voice counting to 10, and backwards, and the warmth of snuggling with Da Pook in my arms, or falling swiftly into dream land hearing her soft, steady breath next to me.

I am grateful that my jobs are something I truly enjoy. I love being a mom, I love working from home. I love that I can set my own hours, and that I don't have to drive to an office everyday. I feel as though I've finally found a job that I enjoy (even though, there are still times I'd rather be doing something else, and I do feeling overwhelmed if I don't keep up with the work). And I am also grateful for the time management skills is teaches me. And yes, I do love the fact, that if I really need to sleep in - I can do so most of the time.

I am grateful for my sweet home. It's just the right size - not too big, not too small. Though eventually we will plan to move, I've loved this house since the first moment I walked in on a gray day, only to be embraced by it's brightness regardless of the cloudiness, and the small, timid voice, beckoning me, "Come, live in me."

I am grateful that our house encourages me to release and declutter on a rhythmic basis. Each year the good will sees me at least once. Since I've been in this house, I've released so much junk - material, physical, and mental. And I am grateful for it.

I am grateful for where we are in our lives. We live a simple life compared to most. And, do our best to be frugal. I am grateful that we have the choice to be frugal.

I am grateful for the people in my life - friends, fellow bloggers, internet pals, and family. Each person in my life has been a teacher - regardless of age.

Today, I am relishing in gratitude. And it feels really good.

And - now it's here, online. So, next time I'm not feeling so grateful, I can comeback here and reread it. :)

Thursday's Thoughts...

It amazes me how people view being a parent, especially when they aren't. (Sorry, but pets don't count! Had 'em before I was a parent, and they really don't prepare you for what lies ahead.) I amazed myself, and it wasn't until I was a parent, and started researching all sorts of lovely things (reasons for natural childbirth, how to nurture a child's self esteem, how to teach a child right from wrong), that I realized, what you think you will do, and what you end up doing, change.

I've a friend who wanted to homeschool her children, but realized it wasn't the best thing for her or them, when she realized how much time and energy went into it. I know women who homeschool all 5 of their kids (and then some). I know one mom who changed her entire lifestyle to vegetarian, and goes out of her way to feed her kids organic food on the little money she makes.

The fact is, until your a parent, you can dream and have visions of how you'll do what you'll do. But it all changes once you hold that little one in your arms.

I adore my child. And I want what is best for her. I haven't quite done things the way I'd liked, but I've learned what works for her and me, and that is what I work with. I have a wonderful child. (Seriously, she can play quietly for 20 minutes in a room full of meditating women.) It could just be her personality, or it could be how we choose to raise her.

For me, I mother according to how I was raised. (Usually, doing opposite of my parents.) I don't like the idea of spanking, because I've seen some really bad results from it. So, I've been discovering alternate ways. The key to it all, is respect between the parent and child. That is my belief. It was respect for my mother that got me home on time, not fear.

I respect and trust my daughter, even at the tender age of almost 3. And, I find the more I trust her, the more she responds in turn. There are times when I'm firm (like when she needs to sleep in her own bed), but I find that firmness is enough. Last night, she threw her first huge tantrum, and it was precious. I put her in her room, told her to let it out and when she was done, I was here, and still loved her even though she was upset. We tried not to laugh as she explored ranges of screaming and crying. But, deep down, I knew it was important not to stifle her, to let her get out her rage.

I feel that she needs to know it's okay to hurt, be sad, be angry, and explore and release her feelings. I watched how the kids in my family were told - don't cry, it's okay. And I wonder, how is that teaching a child how to deal with his or her feelings? In our society, you are told via the media, what to wear, how to look, what to eat, etc. Can you imagine a world where people knew what they needed instinctively?

Thus, knowing the age of my child, I always keep in mind that for her age, there are somethings she doesn't understand. In the store, if she gets upset - she can't tell me why, but sometimes, she just needs to be held. Just now we are realizing she can't quite explain to us what she's feeling or even wants, so, we try to be open to that.

For me, I think a lot of my own perspective is tainted from the last few years, of myself rediscovering my true feelings. For years, I'd ask 20 people for advice before making a choice. I totally depended on other people's thoughts. I thought that I'd look good in something because it was "in style".

Perhaps it's my humble age of 31 going on 32 this year, but I now know myself better than ever, and just as I'm learning to trust my daughter, I'm also learning to trust me. The day she was born, I knew that my life would be filled with many gifts, and that I was being blessed with a little teacher that I would be teaching too.

And this morning, as I cradle my little one in my arms, breathing in her scent, my heart is full, and I give thanks for this little teacher in my arms.

Simple Joys... and realizations

Lately (perhaps because I've been taking the Simple Abundance Journey) I've been thinking about simple little things that bring me joy.

I thought I'd share:

• a good yoga session
• journaling (or blogging)
• an uninterupted bubble bath
• being up before dawn, in the quiet morning, sans other awake family members
• reading a good book or article
• snuggling with da pook
• watching da pook sleep
• when da pook kisses me on the cheek making the "Mwa!" sound
• napping in the afternoon
• napping in a hammock in the sunshine
• spending time in the woods of my friend
• eating vegetables and fruits fresh from the garden
• drinking hot tea while watching it snow out the window
• sitting on the back porch
• basking in the quietness of underwater at a swimming pool in hot summer
• the scent of fall
• walking outdoors
• gathering fall leaves, and watching the trees change color
• dancing
• creating art - painting, writing, sketching
• writing love letters
• meditation or just focusing on the breath
• indugling in a bit of really, really good chocolate (or chocolate pudding!)

I could probably go on, but those are a few of the things that popped into my head. It was a late night (da pook was up late, and ended up sleeping with us), but a peaceful morning.

We spent the weekend in PJs, watching movies, snuggling, and playing with da pook. It was quiet, laid back, and relaxed, as it should be. And, as a bonus, I had some pretty intense self-revelations. (It's amazing what happens to the mind when you take time to just rest and be.)

You see, I read this article in Yoga Journal (I think that's where it was), and the article basically said, that when you are upset, you are the one with the problem. As I've gone through my life blaming others for disrepecting me, or upseting me, "making me angry, sad, etc."... this just really hit home for me this weekend. A part of me has known this, but, you can know something, and spout things from a book for ages, until the day when BAM! you get it. So it took over 30 years... but this time it hit, and it stuck.

You see, I see people (relationships especially) much differently than I did 10 years ago. (Well, 10 years ago, I was a totally different person for the most part, but that's another story.) These part few years, I've been learning, and admitting that: I've got an ego (which used to be MUCH Bigger than it is now), I've suffered from a queen complex (i.e. the world revolves around me), and I used to have not clue how to tune into myself, and everything depending on outside sources, so, even with a big ego, the self-esteem was nil. How people put up with me... well, if they did, they must've really love me. And some of them still do! ;)

In any case, this was just another of those discoveries for me, especially as I've been experiencing challenges with two people in my life, that just seem to push all my buttons. But, when I looked at it from the standpoint that I was the one upset, and thus the one with the problem.

Wow.

Perhaps it's all the warrior poses I've been doing lately, but this weekend, I feel I've reclaimed my personal power. People don't upset you; it's you who get upset. Think about it. People are who they are. The only person you can change, is you. When it comes to other people, you need to accept them for who they are. Maybe they'll change, maybe they won't.

These people are who they are. I didn't want to accept them. I wanted them to be more respectful and drop the victimization bull and drama. A part of my wanted to be in control (I so hate admitting that... ) and stop them, or do something about what I percieved as "wrong" behavior. But, that is up to them. So, I gave myself permission to say No to these people, cut them out of my life (which, I've tried, but I see now, they're in my life for a reason, and I am learning from them... maybe there is a greater reason behind all this), but also permission to keep them in my life but not feel responsible for them.

Does that make sense?

And so, I enter this week with yet another new perspective. Wow. I need more NFP weekends! Luckily, it's winter, and that's what we do.

Focus for 2006

I did decide on things I'd like to focus on for the new year, and I also created affirmations. (We do this as a family each year.) Only this year, we included one for a house. Though we aren't actively looking, we figured we'd put the energy out there and see what happens.

In any case, there are 5 things I've decided to focus on:

1. Continuing to Simpify my life
This means decluttering material, physical, and mental stuff; finding easier ways to do things; doing less, but doing more of what I enjoy; and saying No. This has also resulted in planning ahead for weekends of No Plans.

2. Continuining to improve my lifestyle and eating habits.
This past year I learned what healthy food portions were, realized I'd been eating double those portions, and started taking movement (yoga, walking, etc.) more seriously. I'm also working on focusing on when I'm hungry, versus when I'm stressed to the max.

3. Spend wisely and consciously.
Asking myself if I really need an item, or if it's filling that boredom or stress void. If it doesn't absolutley make my heart sing, forgetta bout it! (Plus, it helps you know, in saving for a new house!)

4. Stay in tune with Rhythm; honor and getting to know my inner/intuition.
Life has it's own rhythm, there's the rhythm of seasons, and my own personal rhythm. All work together and have their own effects. Learning my moods, when I'm energetic and when I'm not, is not only helpful, but very liberating, because I'm not beating myself up on a day when I'm not fully motivated. Plus, it helps me to honor myself and spend time going within each month.

As for the intuition, this ties into the food thing, in the sense that I'm exploring more about myself and how I really feel about things. One of the reasons I hibernate come winter, is so that I can reevaluate myself and really think about how I feel. Sometimes, things get so chaotic, I felt very out-of-touch and make choices I normally wouldn't. So, I've been practicing recognizing that "gut" feeling.

5. Continue to connect with appreciation and gratitude.
Just being appreciative and grateful is life changing. I've been doing it for the last few months, and it's really had an impact. So, I'd like to keep it up.

Don't know how much I'll get to posting over the next few months, as, I'm feeling a strong urge to hibernate. After the last two weeks, the urge to not see anyone or leave the house is strong. Now, if I wasn't working, I could be playing, and cozied up with a pile of good books. Of course, I'd still be watching Da Pook, but... I wouldn't be looking at a computer screen.

Also, as is tradition, we drew cards for the New Year.

I have this Goddess Deck that's uncannily on target (my friends always ask me to draw a card for them each year). For instance, last year, I drew Sulis (Celtic goddess of water) who's message was to spend time around water for healing. I ended up vacationing on and island and spending time in a water spa there. The entire experience totally changed me and my life.

This year, I got two cards: Oonagh and Rhinnanon. According to Oonagh, all is happening in the right time; I'm to take things slowly and easily. I'm being given the opportunity to "ease" into things. And according to Rhinnanon, my dreams will manifest this year. Which, was totally funny, because we'd just affirmed the house right before that. And, according to the fairy cards we have, I'm to "Honor My True Feelings" and be myself.

The connections between these 3 cards were strong, and completely on target, because that is the sense I was getting for this coming year.

So, it'll be very interesting to see where this all goes, eh?