Peace and quiet

After an amazing weekend (that too about 3 days to recover from lack of sleep due to lots of fun!), I find myself sitting here in the quiet of early morning. Pook is still sleeping, twisted gracefully amongst the sheets, her face in blissful dream land.

I managed to pull myself from the bed around 5:30 am, to do some exercise, and found myself with that extra time and vigor I seem to have in the early am hours. (I know you night owls don't necessarily agree. :) )

In any case, I've missed the quiet. The last few days I've been sleeping in to try and catch up (but, do we ever really catch up?), and then last night, I couldn't sleep. (I've found a new game Kakuro.) Yet, still, I was able to awake to the rhythmic symphony of cicadas (or crickets - I'm not sure) that seems to be more prevelant in the wee hours of the morning.

Perhaps it's because last night, I made a conscious effort to reclaim my energy from a situation I'd been doting too long on, and, effectively wasting energy with worry, second guessing, and preparation for a possibility that simply may not be. And, yesterday, my sweet, marvelous, wonderful, and loving husband, saw this pain I'd been creating for myself. He took my hand, looked into my eyes, and helped me to become aware that if I wanted to expend energy on something, I should be more focused on him and Pook, than this other situation.

And then, my sweet love and I talked, and I realized that he knew that I was creating my pain. And yet, if someone else had consciously hurt me, he would indeed take action.

It was then my mind began to quiet, as I processed what he'd said. Sometimes, I'm aware of things, and yet not aware of things. And then, my heart just seemed to drop what it had been holding on to, and through the course of the evening, began to release what I'd been holding onto, and embrace the love for my husband and child.

And last night, when I couldn't sleep. I watched them both. I snuggled and kissed upon my sweet child's face. I got up, and wrote in my journal about my love for them, and how blessed I am to live the life I lead, love the people I love, and be the person I am - and my heart blossomed.