Freedom

Lately, I've been aware of a tendency of mine to trap myself in a box, and forget that at anytime, I can just open the lid and crawl out, or, even better, open the door and walk out.

There've been two aspects of my life recently, where I've done this as of late, and finally, the other day, thanks to the darling advice of a friend who told me, "Grace, you don't have to do any of this", I was free.

She was right. We don't have to move. (This being the bigger of the two.) We can still look, but we don't have to MOVE. We can make do where we are, and in the process save money, spend wisely, and maybe even pay off the house.

Wow. What a concept. Right in line with The Compact I'd mentioned previously. Which has influenced us actually.

Last night, while hubby fought off his NyQuil-ed state long enough for our nightly chats (which haven't been happening due to late bedtimes and NyQuil-ed induced sleeps), we were discussing the "break" that we were taking regarding two big decisions in our lives. One being moving...

Though we've decided to still look at houses, I must admit, that part of me just wants to let it go completely, and focus on paying off the house we now live in and save up money.

As I drifted off to sleep, I found myself thinking of things that I'd want to do with the current house: I planned where I could plant a raised veggie garden, but then it might be best to fence in the backyard with all the cats round here (and deer), which would decrease the light; add steps to the back deck; get a tool shed to hold the mower, lawn, gardening and snow stuff; clear out the dead bush and shrubs in the back - maybe a small tool shed could go there; go through our stuff to see what we really need, and what we can give away or get rid of to create more space... My mind was active, very active.

But it felt good to think of these things, because for the last 6 months, I'd been thinking along the lines of - can't do that until we move, better not get that, until we move, that's on hold... until we move. I'd gotten stuck in stagnation.

I did mention how good I can be at creating little boxes in which to shut myself, didn't I?

So now, I'm feeling much better and lighter. Hubby and I still have things to talk about and discuss, but I've freed myself to be more present now. I don't know where things are going, or what will happen, which is good, as I fretted over things that hadn't happened and put things on hold until they did.

Thank goodness for friends who can let you know, that you just don't have to!

Early morning conversation

Pook, who is asleep: Mommy, I get a wish for an elephant.

Me: Really?

Pook: Yes, I get ONE wish. The elephant is walking.

Me: Okay.

Then, she rolls back over to sleep.

A little later on:

Pook: Mommy, Daddy's not here.

Rolls back to sleep.

Ah, the bliss of an early morning cuddle bug.

Compact Challenge

Recently I've stumbled upon this blog: Walk Slowly, Live Wildy. It's been very inspirational on many levels. Aside from her lovely pics, she's also created a Compact Pledge, and has been journaling about it and how they sold their home, moved to a 1-bedroom apartment, and have been living more consciously to pay off their debt. The Compact has on some level been resonating with me. There's even a blog here entirely about it, with contact information to groups you can join.

It reminded me a lot of the book written by Judith Levine Not Buying It My Year Without Shopping, which, I've been very curious to read, but haven't yet. (It's on my list of books to get at the library, when I actually get to the library. Don't ask.)

Now, I know that if I decided to Compact, that I could. I obviously haven't, but I've been playing around with the entire idea. Hey, I also occasionally check in and read The Simple Living NetWork Newsletter. It's also gotten me thinking about several things.

One of the things on my mind has been whether or not we should stay in the house we are in now, or keep trying to move. Right now, we've got a mortgage less then most apartments around here. Living here, we are able to save more money then we've ever had, and we've paid off my school loans.

Our reasons for moving are mostly that we would like more land for Pook to play about on, neighbors that are a bit further away, and a bigger home so that we can expand on our family. But are these valid reasons? If we really wanted too, we could easily add another room and bathroom in the basement. Thus solving the more room issue.

As for the acreage, there's a park right down the road that I discovered. The Post Office can be walked to as well. And, we are blessed with friends who live on farms and acreage. I would still love for Pook to be able to be free to run around on her own land, but we can make do if need be.

Do we really need all the things we've been buying? Come Christmas time, we tend to go a wee bit crazy in that we buy a lot of things. And we tend to go overboard with gifts. This year, I've done better on the gift thing. I think I mentioned www.heifer.org before and the baking. I'm finding much more satisfaction in homemade gifts.

I've also noticed, that I've a unique knack for validating things I want. From books, to hand towels, if I want it, I can find a reason. So, I've decided to make a list of what else I would want for the house, and decide - do I really need it? Can I do without it? Why do I want it in the first place?

And then too, I have come to realize how blessed we are to live in a society and place where you can get virtually anything you want via internet and the like. And then I wonder - but are we responsible with our consumerism? Do we need to be?

In any case, I'm still pondering on this. It's clearly touched something in me. How about you?

Children's bliss

Nothing beats the good morning wishes and smile from a just-waking Pook, who then proceeds to snuggle up in your lap, and hug and kiss you profusely.

I adore my child.

She truly has the ability to lighten up my day and my heart.

This weekend, we broke out the Christmas decorations and Christmas movies. She's like a kid in the candy store between the new movies and the Christmas tree, oh, and the colored lights in the bedroom. As we've watched those movies, I noticed that most of them have an ongoing theme - of children growing up.

I can assure you, that this week especially, those hugs and kisses are treasured above and beyond. In fact, I've made it a point to make each of these moments sacred in some way in my heart.

Life

I've been inundated with lots of thoughts lately. Dealing with family, life, and spirituality.

And then, I found our my grandmother was in the hospital this past weekend. Her altziemer's worsening, vocalizing she wanted to go, those who are holding on to her, being aware of my mother trying to deal with everything...

So much more I can say, but I need to reast my brain at the moment.

Ah... life.

And another thing...

I've recently noticed an increase in readers in my blog. Would y'all mind introducing yourselves, perhaps saying hello if you don't mind? :)

And... last thing tonight, really...

Hubby got Pook a PS2 game. And she's hooked. :) Too funny.

Quietly giving thanks...

This year, we're not traveling for the holiday. Hubby's working on Friday, and needs to make up time, so here we are. Considering I'm all fuzzy-headed with congestion drip-drip-dripping down my throat - this is a good thing. So, it's not really much of a holiday, more of just a day to recouperate from recent events.

So, imagine me saying this in my raspy-throaty voice very quietly:

Happy Thanksgiving!

In other news, this week has provided me with the much needed quiet to focus on the homeschooling and scheduling front. Pook and I have been doing well with our own Circle time, and lots of reading. Thankfully, with a shift of priorities and scheduling, work hasn't been stressing me out as much. This, is a very, very good thing, as I've a tendency to get a bit anal about things.

Wishing you all a wonderous day of thanks, filled with lots of turkey (of which we'll not be partaking of, as we've chosen to just make it a day, and were too lazy to defrost the dang thing!) .