Warm to the touch, her skin is hot. She is cold, telling me her eyes are burning. I wrap her in my arms, willing her to heal fast.
Later in the day, while I work, I hear her telling her father, "Daddy, I need you. I need some time with you."
The little one has discovered her feet. As I get close, she lifts them up. She gives me a flirty look, and lifts them higher. I lean down and nibble them. She smiles and giggles with glee. If we put socks on them, she manages to get them off. Bare baby feet, tiny toes, so precious...
Monday, February 09, 2009
Friday, February 06, 2009
Moments 4
In darkness, wrapped around hubby, I breathe him in, and bask in his warmth.
Early morning, I hear the alarm go off, and feel hubby turn it off. I snuggle against him. The thought of staying in bed all day crosses my mind. I pull myself from the covers to start the day.
Quiet time as the girls sleep late. I use it to move my body, feeling the blood pumping, focusing on the breath.
Sitting in the warm sun, watching Pook talk to Popop. Hearing his amazement at having the longest conversation with her ever, and watching he strut around with the phone. So very precious as they connect.
Yoga in the sunlight. Baby giggles at big sister's poses. Baby laughter fills the house.
Cuddling up to read a chapter book about Tinkerbell. I breathe it in. I breathe it ALL in.
Early morning, I hear the alarm go off, and feel hubby turn it off. I snuggle against him. The thought of staying in bed all day crosses my mind. I pull myself from the covers to start the day.
Quiet time as the girls sleep late. I use it to move my body, feeling the blood pumping, focusing on the breath.
Sitting in the warm sun, watching Pook talk to Popop. Hearing his amazement at having the longest conversation with her ever, and watching he strut around with the phone. So very precious as they connect.
Yoga in the sunlight. Baby giggles at big sister's poses. Baby laughter fills the house.
Cuddling up to read a chapter book about Tinkerbell. I breathe it in. I breathe it ALL in.
Thursday, February 05, 2009
Moments 3
3:00 am I wake with a child snuggled against my back. I turn around and hold her in my arms. She's so big; growing so fast. I hold her hand, hear her breathing, feel her warmth and snuggle in around her, letting her hair tickle my nose.
How many more moments of these before she's "too old" to snuggle with Mommy in the middle of the night?
5:00 am I am greeted by a quiet smile from the youngest. That tender look, and then she starts to coo... I sweep her into my arms, breath her in, and hold her close.
7:00 am I ready breakfast. She needs her usual - 1 piece of buttered toast, a 4 oz Yo Kids yogurt, hot cocoa, a banana and her vitamins. She is excited to see how many servings of the food groups she's met.
The sun is rising on the snowy back yard, I look back at my two angels, awake for the day. I smile - my heart filled with bliss.
How many more moments of these before she's "too old" to snuggle with Mommy in the middle of the night?
5:00 am I am greeted by a quiet smile from the youngest. That tender look, and then she starts to coo... I sweep her into my arms, breath her in, and hold her close.
7:00 am I ready breakfast. She needs her usual - 1 piece of buttered toast, a 4 oz Yo Kids yogurt, hot cocoa, a banana and her vitamins. She is excited to see how many servings of the food groups she's met.
The sun is rising on the snowy back yard, I look back at my two angels, awake for the day. I smile - my heart filled with bliss.
Monday, February 02, 2009
Moments 2
Snuggled up in warm, fuzzy blankets, with a sprinkling of baby skin and the leg of her sister, with a foot that begs to be tickled.
Snuggling in bed with a chatty child excited about her day. Leaving her awake, and calm, and ready to sleep on her own. Sweet, sweet moment.
Crawling into bed after evening tuck ins, sleeping husband reaches out. I take his hand, my lids already drifting to dreamland. I breathe in his scent, and smile and the love abounding in our home.
Sweet, rare, quiet morning moments in the darkness before the sun rises. Bliss.
In the morning darkness, I hear someone's chatter, and find myself greeted by her flirty smile. Picking her up, I breathe in that baby scent and hold her close. Bliss.
Early morning "chats" with baby. While drinking lemon zinger tea on a "scratchy" throat.
Ready to start the day, and welcome friends.
Snuggling in bed with a chatty child excited about her day. Leaving her awake, and calm, and ready to sleep on her own. Sweet, sweet moment.
Crawling into bed after evening tuck ins, sleeping husband reaches out. I take his hand, my lids already drifting to dreamland. I breathe in his scent, and smile and the love abounding in our home.
Sweet, rare, quiet morning moments in the darkness before the sun rises. Bliss.
In the morning darkness, I hear someone's chatter, and find myself greeted by her flirty smile. Picking her up, I breathe in that baby scent and hold her close. Bliss.
Early morning "chats" with baby. While drinking lemon zinger tea on a "scratchy" throat.
Ready to start the day, and welcome friends.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Moments 1
It's early, and I rise with baby. Smiling in the darkness, she greets me, her eyes filled with laughter.
It's afternoon, and snow falls from the sky, dancing, twirling wildly with the wind. We dance to Abba, singing, laughing, moving and grooving. My head is spinning, and the laughter prevalent.
Afterwards, we snuggle tenderly upon a blanketed floor, pillows and blankets abound. Soon, sweet baby's eyes are closed, breathing softly, she sleeps.
Lunch is warm soup, eaten while watching dancing snow. Baby still sleeping. Mommy makes tea.
The house is scattered, chaotic with "stuff"about the place. It's definitely lived in.
It's afternoon, and snow falls from the sky, dancing, twirling wildly with the wind. We dance to Abba, singing, laughing, moving and grooving. My head is spinning, and the laughter prevalent.
Afterwards, we snuggle tenderly upon a blanketed floor, pillows and blankets abound. Soon, sweet baby's eyes are closed, breathing softly, she sleeps.
Lunch is warm soup, eaten while watching dancing snow. Baby still sleeping. Mommy makes tea.
The house is scattered, chaotic with "stuff"about the place. It's definitely lived in.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Falling in Love
One of my goals for the new year is to change my way of thinking. I've been working on this for years, and this year, I have a direction and plan. I am willing to be more compassionate with others, and especially myself.
A few years ago, when we were planning on selling our house and moving, I made a list of things I felt needed to be changed: painting on the inside, painting on the outside, painting the shutters and front door, putting up a fence, revamping rooms, etc. etc. Soon, all I began to see was what needed fixing, what needed to be changed. I started comparing it to what our new house might be like, what I wanted. Before I knew it, I was no longer in love with our house, and eagerly wanting to up and move.
Funny thing about that, we didn't move. The housing market was taking a turn, and it didn't make sense to move to another place with more space and land, that would cost us more money. So we stayed. And I was quite unhappy.
And then, somewhere along the line, I stopped focusing on what I wanted to be done, and started paying attention to what I had. Our house has an incredible exposure to the sun. Even on rainy days, if you open the curtains, you don't need to turn on lights. The rooms are cozy and comfortable. They allow me to always know where the kiddos are and keep an eye on them. Bit by bit, I began to fall in love with our house.
It didn't matter that our beige walls have a ton of picture holes in them, or that they have scribbles on them. Slowly, we began to rearrange the house. We got rid of those pictures that weren't us. We kept only those pictures we loved. We began to simplify the space and our stuff.
I fell in love with my house as it is. Where I once saw flaws, I saw personality. I accepted it as it was, and in the process fell in love with it's cozy, lived-in, eclectic look.
The beginning of 2008, I had managed to become obsessed with my flaws and changing myself. And then, somewhere along the line, something began to shift. I embraced my growing belly and the life within. I really, truly, basked in the moments with my eldest, as I knew our time as just us was coming to an end.
I stopped worrying and focusing on what I wanted for myself and my family, and I started focusing on what I had in my life. I stopped comparing myself to others, and thinking about what I should be doing.
Something amazing was happening. As I practiced acceptance and compassion with myself, it spilled over into the rest of my life. "This too shall pass" echoed in the back of my mind as I inhaled my newborn's scent, felt the softness of my eldest's cheek, and buried myself in my husband's arms.
I'm not sure when it happened. Suddenly, I found that I was falling in love with me. I embraced that I made time for things like Facebook and blogging, instead of spending time outside. I fell in love with my life. I enjoyed feeding my children and self. Things I once fought tooth and nail against and wanted to deny, I embraced.
Life became vivid and rose-colored. I wanted to take care of me, and I wanted to care about what others. I found that by showing myself compassion, it was easier to be compassionate to others. I was falling in love with me, and in turn life and people.
Events or things that once set off a down spiral, are now learning experiences. Change is an opportunity for adventure, to do something different.
It's going to be interesting to see what happens as I continue to shift my thinking and perspectives.
A few years ago, when we were planning on selling our house and moving, I made a list of things I felt needed to be changed: painting on the inside, painting on the outside, painting the shutters and front door, putting up a fence, revamping rooms, etc. etc. Soon, all I began to see was what needed fixing, what needed to be changed. I started comparing it to what our new house might be like, what I wanted. Before I knew it, I was no longer in love with our house, and eagerly wanting to up and move.
Funny thing about that, we didn't move. The housing market was taking a turn, and it didn't make sense to move to another place with more space and land, that would cost us more money. So we stayed. And I was quite unhappy.
And then, somewhere along the line, I stopped focusing on what I wanted to be done, and started paying attention to what I had. Our house has an incredible exposure to the sun. Even on rainy days, if you open the curtains, you don't need to turn on lights. The rooms are cozy and comfortable. They allow me to always know where the kiddos are and keep an eye on them. Bit by bit, I began to fall in love with our house.
It didn't matter that our beige walls have a ton of picture holes in them, or that they have scribbles on them. Slowly, we began to rearrange the house. We got rid of those pictures that weren't us. We kept only those pictures we loved. We began to simplify the space and our stuff.
I fell in love with my house as it is. Where I once saw flaws, I saw personality. I accepted it as it was, and in the process fell in love with it's cozy, lived-in, eclectic look.
The beginning of 2008, I had managed to become obsessed with my flaws and changing myself. And then, somewhere along the line, something began to shift. I embraced my growing belly and the life within. I really, truly, basked in the moments with my eldest, as I knew our time as just us was coming to an end.
I stopped worrying and focusing on what I wanted for myself and my family, and I started focusing on what I had in my life. I stopped comparing myself to others, and thinking about what I should be doing.
Something amazing was happening. As I practiced acceptance and compassion with myself, it spilled over into the rest of my life. "This too shall pass" echoed in the back of my mind as I inhaled my newborn's scent, felt the softness of my eldest's cheek, and buried myself in my husband's arms.
I'm not sure when it happened. Suddenly, I found that I was falling in love with me. I embraced that I made time for things like Facebook and blogging, instead of spending time outside. I fell in love with my life. I enjoyed feeding my children and self. Things I once fought tooth and nail against and wanted to deny, I embraced.
Life became vivid and rose-colored. I wanted to take care of me, and I wanted to care about what others. I found that by showing myself compassion, it was easier to be compassionate to others. I was falling in love with me, and in turn life and people.
Events or things that once set off a down spiral, are now learning experiences. Change is an opportunity for adventure, to do something different.
It's going to be interesting to see what happens as I continue to shift my thinking and perspectives.
Mistakes
You know that you need to slow down, when you make a comment that's inappropriate, and you don't even realize it.
At first, discovering this, really upset me. How could I be so callous? How could I have missed that?
And, then, my thinking began to shift when I realized that I'd simply missed information, and ironically, managed to latch onto the positive information, and thus skimmed right over the negative information.
In the past, I'd have spent way too much time lamenting my mistake and getting angry with myself. And now? I'm realizing that I'm more compassionate with myself. I made a mistake. It's in writing, so I can't take it back. I did apologize when it was brought to my attention.
The whole event has cause me to do some serious thinking and recognize a few realizations.
It is time to slow down again, to listen and really, really pay attention. If I don't have the time to focus on it, then I either make the time (now or later) or I need to let it go.
For those who know me, I do a lot of juggling. We've chosen to homeschool our two kiddos. I work from home. I also feel a responsibility to keep and take care of the home. I believe in precious moments of "tummy time" and snuggling on the couch with a kid (or two) and a good book.
Sometimes, I get so caught up in my own life, I forget to take the time for others. I've been making a point to do this, as I believe it's important to care and pay attention. I've spent too much of my life stuck in my own little world, that I chose to reach out.
Now, to find the balance...
At first, discovering this, really upset me. How could I be so callous? How could I have missed that?
And, then, my thinking began to shift when I realized that I'd simply missed information, and ironically, managed to latch onto the positive information, and thus skimmed right over the negative information.
In the past, I'd have spent way too much time lamenting my mistake and getting angry with myself. And now? I'm realizing that I'm more compassionate with myself. I made a mistake. It's in writing, so I can't take it back. I did apologize when it was brought to my attention.
The whole event has cause me to do some serious thinking and recognize a few realizations.
It is time to slow down again, to listen and really, really pay attention. If I don't have the time to focus on it, then I either make the time (now or later) or I need to let it go.
For those who know me, I do a lot of juggling. We've chosen to homeschool our two kiddos. I work from home. I also feel a responsibility to keep and take care of the home. I believe in precious moments of "tummy time" and snuggling on the couch with a kid (or two) and a good book.
Sometimes, I get so caught up in my own life, I forget to take the time for others. I've been making a point to do this, as I believe it's important to care and pay attention. I've spent too much of my life stuck in my own little world, that I chose to reach out.
Now, to find the balance...
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