Yesterday, we discovered I'm now 60% effaced and 4 centimeters dilated. I haven't felt "right" since the midwife checked, and my contractions aren't that regular. Reality is setting in though. In a matter of time, I'm going to be a mom to "another little darling" as my eldest tells me.
I was teasing about how I was enjoying my quiet time, how there was more I wanted to get done. The projects are so clear in my head, on my list... Last night, I lie awake, my thoughts moving rapidly, yet my body needing to just rest. So much has been going on here the last few weeks - a whirlwind of activity and nesting.
The fence that I've wanted for so long is clearly moving along, as based on the evidence of the posts and supports that now line our property. Our neighbor reminded me, "When I get started, I like to get finished." And he is true to his word.
Last night, thinking about the fence excited me. I am looking forward to seeing what the back yard is going to look like, and the possibilities. What will it be like to actually walk down from the back porch into my back yard?
Then my thoughts turned to how ready are you really for that next little bundle of joy? Should I push myself today to get things done? Should I just rest?
There is this sense of nervousness in me today, mixed with fear and excitement. The reality of getting to meet this little one I've been carrying the last 9 months is so close. Part of me wants to dive into productivity mode. Part of me just doesn't feel so great. The other part of me wants to just spend the day lazing around and resting. And then, there's this other part of me, that really just wants to have a good cry...
I'm not sure what I'm going to do today. I think step-by-step is best. I hope this anxious feeling with dissipate a bit. Until then...
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