Moments 12

Watching the Pook support Pookii in her exploration of how to roll around and move about.

A rare, tender and most precious moment of quiet.

Cuddling up on the couch under the afghan my grandmother crocheted and gave to me as a wedding gift.

Watching Pookii discover her hands, her ability to roll and move, her excitement.

Tending a sore heart with healing music and the hugs of children.

Being aware of life's cycles and rhythms, and finding peace in them.

Moments 11

Laying in bed at 3 am - Baby on one side and Pook on the other. Listening to their breaths amidst the quite morning hours. Finding myself feeling more centered, more peaceful than I've been in a long time.

Hearing the baby call and "sing". Hugs from Pook. Enjoying the conversation of a wise friend or two.

The realization of just how complete my life really is, and just how amazing and incredible some people are.

If you only knew...

If you only knew, how I really felt,
how much I've tried to reach out to you,
to be there for you.
If you only bothered to stop and listen,
then maybe, just maybe, you'd get a different view,
instead of the one you've imposed upon me.

If you only took the time to get to know me,
to see what's behind the exterior,
then maybe, just maybe, you'd find the real story,
as opposed to the one you've created.

If you let go of the judgments,
released your expectations of me,
looked past the walls you've created,
your own jealousy and envy,
you might find we're not so different.

If only you were aware of how many times
I've sought your approval,
your help, your guidance,
then maybe we'd be in a different place
than where we are.

copyright 2009 Playful Grace

Moments 10

Sitting outside on a blanket, feeling the warm sun, breathing in the fresh air, and sketching moss. Pook was so excited she got to use her new magnifying glass that she bought. We spent about 30-45 minutes sketching moss, followed by sketching each other, and enjoying the weather. A perfect day.

Later on, we welcomed new friends into our home with fresh cut flowers and dinner. Unfortunately, I got to feeling ill by the end of the evening... and in the process missed out on more conversation I wanted to have. :( The good news is, that I think/hope we'll get to do it again. Especially as our daughters really seemed to bond. What fun!

Moments 9

That feeling of being a bit "off". The urge to climb back in bed and sleep, even after that smiling face at 4:30 am. Being aware of those "shoulds" that pop around in one's head (I should exercise. I should eat fruit. I should not be so grumpy...). Pook taking her time getting dressed for the day, eating, starting and doing her work, and whinning. A screechy baby voicing herself.

In an instant, silence. Pook working on math. Baby's discovered a toy. Mommy is typing with her chai latte in front of her, and very grateful for Oregon chai latte packets!

And then, the noise starts again. Only this time, I'm smiling. For this is life, my life. The precious moments, and those that are uncomfortable. It's all okay. When things don't go as planned, it simply means there are more possibilities.

Today, I am open and recept to all good things.

Moments 8

Early morning smiles. Waking to a powdering of snow, and still being able to enjoy winter's wonders without yearning for spring's arrival.

Watching, taking it all in - baby's feeding, baby fighting sleep, and finally baby succumbing to sleep, knowing that Mommy is right there.

Hearing my eldest awake, as she comes in to climb on my lap while I work. It's that precious time of her and me.

Feeling my heart burst as she lets me holding her, take her in, kiss her cheeks, and bask in this moment. Especially after reading a blog post about a mother watching her daughter prepare to go to the theater with her friends, witnesses her daughter growing into a young lady. A gentle reminder to me, that I need to bask, take it in, and make the most of this time with my girls.

Thoughts on Lent

Is it too late to think about Lent the second day into it? As I believe each day gives us the chance to start anew, I don't think so. I just need to embrace that tense feeling that "I've missed something" or that I'd be doing something "wrong".

I know that Lent is usually a Catholic thing. I'm not going to go into my religious beliefs here. I will say, that I really like the idea behind Lent. Well, my idea that is. I've found over the years it's come to mean many things for many people. To some, you give up something you really love, as a reminder of Christ's sacrifice. To others, you give up something that's not good for you. To me, well, it's been many things. And then today, I read this:

http://willows95988.typepad.com/tongue_cheek/2009/02/lent-a-time-set-aside-for-us-to-look-at-who-we-are-and-give-it-away-freely.html

and something hit me.

There are many times I've been afraid to be myself. I've boxed me up, covered me up, tried to be something I'm not, and run away in denial, as far and fast as I could. And then I realized, I can't. Who I am leaks through into my writing, my speech, my words, my actions. There was a time when I didn't like who I was, when I was afraid of who I was, because I realized that I was guilty of what I was judging others for.

Over the years, I've been blessed to see the light within others, and in turn myself. That light has been able to grow, enlightening those parts of me I wanted to keep in the dark. And you know what? They weren't so bad. In fact, they are what make me the amazing human being I am.

So who am I? I don't have just one answer, and in many ways, I don't know the answer. I'm a woman, functioning as a mother, wife, lover, teacher, dancer, artist, homemaker, home keeper, muse, creator, friend, daughter, sister, aunt... I do so very many things on a daily basis, that sometimes I can not keep up.

And what do I give away freely this month? Inspiration. Creativity. Compassion. Listening. Support. Love. Who wants some?