Letting Go

In Autumn, most trees let go of their leaves. After a brilliant burst and symphony of color, sometimes lasting the month, and sometimes not, they let them go. Simply, naturally, each leaf falls, though some hang on for a while. It's a part of the cycle; it's a part of nature.

They let go, so that they can rest, and restore their energy in winter, and so that when spring comes, they are rested and rejuvenated, and the use that energy to create new leaves in vibrant greens and flowers for reproducing. It's an amazing and natural process - and yet, I've a tendency to fight it, as many do.

This weekend, I had the opportunity to host a retreat at a friend's. The leaves were in the midst of changing, and even though many had shed leaves, there were still trees that were full of vibrant reds and yellows. It was incredible.

It got me thinking about things that I've been holding onto tightly - sticking to the schedule for homeschooling, when letting go of a few things, and being willing to explore a few other ares. Holding onto the voice in my head that tells me "You're not doing enough. You should do more. You aren't doing this right. You've not good enough." Holding onto fear that sometimes immobilizes me, and holding onto judgments passed by another.

On Saturday, these things became clear, and a new "voice" or thought emerged. What if I'm fine the way I am? What if being this way is actually an asset, though I can't see it right now? What if I did take a new look at things, and slowed down a bit?

And so, as the leaves fell from the trees, and danced in the air, I let my own leaves fall. I've done something I haven't done in years - I chose to "Let go and let God." I chose to take a step back and another look at how we are homeschooling and the goals that I want to accomplish. I opened my heart, and nurtured my soul.

And I realized that in letting go, I am able to embrace that which will nourish me through the winter - good friends, lots of unconditional love and support, and maybe even some rest. ;)