the longest night of the year

Tomorrow is the solstice. I think that means tomorrow will be the longest night of the year. I'm not sure, but it's got me thinking. (What doesn't get me thinking, eh?)

I am one of those who enjoy the solstice. I enjoy the quiet dark of the lengthening night during the holiday season. Why? Because it encourages me to slow down amidst the consumer chaos. It's a time to turn inward and ponder. I also like that it happens in the autumn, so that during winter's chill, the daylight increases, warming the senses with the promise of spring.

This last year has not been as quiet or as peaceful as we'd have liked.

A while back, I'd asked what the holiday means to people, and a friend of mine told me that the holidays were what you made them. So true!

I find myself longing for a quiet holiday. Aside from this weekend, tomorrow we'll spend time with family. Christmas eve and Christmas day, we shall spend quietly with only my mom and a good friend.

I am longing for the quiet of winter nights, and a small holiday celebration. Actually, I'm just longing for quiet right now, but only because I haven't really had any.

You know the feeling that you've been running, and running, and running? Things just speed by without you paying attention. And then, I got sick. I'm still nursing the congestion, but at least my joints aren't aching and my skin isn't so sensitive.

That is what I've been feeling like for a while. And now, I'm ready to slow down again. I want to savor moments. I want to sit and watch the snow, without my thoughts drifting to class lessons, holiday To Do's and mailing out parcels. Curl up with a good book, lots of blankets, and playing in the snow.

I am full aware that the longing is because I've not been making these things a priority. I've somehow gotten caught up in the running around, and lost focus on what is in front of me. I've been scattering my energies, and the long night is rather symbolic of pulling myself back in, rediscovering what I want.

So, that's where I am this night before the longest night of the year. Welcome winter. Welcome reflection. Welcome peace.