Did you ever suddenly become aware of something that is totally obvious to others, just not you? Say, that someone out there actually might not want a relationship with you, even if you've gone out of your way to reach out to strengthen or build a relationship?
I've a beautiful tendency to see things through rose-colored glasses and in a positive light. So perhaps that is why I recently had a total revelation about some people in my life that have been giving me a rather clear message for years.
I mean, if you want to spend time with someone - you make the time. You make them a priority in some way, yes? If you don't, then you plan things to include them and fit them into your schedule, yes? You have conversations that go beyond the "Hi, Hello" category. You converse with them about your life and what's going on in it. You make the effort to reach out and connect on some level even if it's just phone, email, or in person.
And guess what? For years I've been reaching out despite a lack of connection on the other side. Maybe I didn't want to give up on them. (I don't like to give up on people.) I admit that on some level I wanted a connection and acceptance. I'd get angry at myself, at them, and blame myself for what I perceived as issues or reasons for the lack of connection.
And then, today, it became clear to me. Why was I wasting my time and energy on a relationship that didn't meet my expectations? What if I just accepted them for who they are - people wrapped up in their own world (who isn't) of which I'm not a part of and if I accepted the relationship for what it is? We are quite different people, and that's okay. Clearly, I had certain expectations of them that they weren't meeting.
So today, I faced the facts and looked at the situation from a more objective point of view thanks to some friends. First, I realized I needed to accept them for who they are. Then, I realized that there are other people in my life that I'd rather expend this reclaimed energy on, and who will reciprocate the connection in some way. What a wonderful opportunity to practice the art of acceptance!
Through acceptance, I've gained freedom. And I'm liking it... :)
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
Sunday, January 04, 2009
Focus for 2009
Okay, so I've decided to list my focus for 2009. So, here it is:
1. I am honoring myself.
I am changing my thinking so that it is more positive. I release and let go of negative thoughts and relationships. I create a positive environment to thrive.
I am eating more nutritiously for myself and family. (We are cutting out high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. We are increasing our vegetable and fruit intake. We are eating more fresh and less processed foods.)
I am moving and exercising regularly. (yoga, walking, dancing, pilates) I am encouraging and supporting hubby in doing this too.
2. Living consciously with awareness and joy.
I am willing to be present in the moment, and to really just enjoy the moments and life. I am basking in laughter, gratitude and joy, and I am willing to encourage, inspire and share these with others.
3 Finances - spend wisely and consciously.
We are putting more into savings, spending wisely, and eliminating expenses where able.
4 Simplicity
I am keeping things simple by saying no when needed, respecting my boundaries, and keeping things uncomplicated. I keep up with keeping out the clutter and maintaining that which might come in.
5 Honoring Others
I am enhancing my relationships through encouragement, nurturing, love and joy. I forgive myself and others for not meeting expectations.
I am looking into places to donate to. Currently, we donate to http://www.heifer.org/. I am looking into http://www.kiva.org/. Suggestions are welcome.
I continue:
-to be aware of the blessings in my life, and continue my connection with appreciation and gratitude.
-to incorporate internal rhythms with life's rhythms. Learning to listen to what I need. Listening to my intuition.
- to maintain a home environment of peace, love, nurturing and joy.
To Complete:
- Get a shed for out back
- Create play area in the back
1. I am honoring myself.
I am changing my thinking so that it is more positive. I release and let go of negative thoughts and relationships. I create a positive environment to thrive.
I am eating more nutritiously for myself and family. (We are cutting out high fructose corn syrup and hydrogenated oils. We are increasing our vegetable and fruit intake. We are eating more fresh and less processed foods.)
I am moving and exercising regularly. (yoga, walking, dancing, pilates) I am encouraging and supporting hubby in doing this too.
2. Living consciously with awareness and joy.
I am willing to be present in the moment, and to really just enjoy the moments and life. I am basking in laughter, gratitude and joy, and I am willing to encourage, inspire and share these with others.
3 Finances - spend wisely and consciously.
We are putting more into savings, spending wisely, and eliminating expenses where able.
4 Simplicity
I am keeping things simple by saying no when needed, respecting my boundaries, and keeping things uncomplicated. I keep up with keeping out the clutter and maintaining that which might come in.
5 Honoring Others
I am enhancing my relationships through encouragement, nurturing, love and joy. I forgive myself and others for not meeting expectations.
I am looking into places to donate to. Currently, we donate to http://www.heifer.org/. I am looking into http://www.kiva.org/. Suggestions are welcome.
I continue:
-to be aware of the blessings in my life, and continue my connection with appreciation and gratitude.
-to incorporate internal rhythms with life's rhythms. Learning to listen to what I need. Listening to my intuition.
- to maintain a home environment of peace, love, nurturing and joy.
To Complete:
- Get a shed for out back
- Create play area in the back
Reflections on 2008
2008 was a wild ride of a year. We started it off discovering that I was pregnant with Pookii, then jaunting off to Disney Land for a week. We returned with the lots of wonderful memories and the flu.
Pook was enrolled in a Montessori class and loved it. We spent the summer getting the house prepped for our new arrival, homeschooling, and spending summer days swimming at the pool and treasuring our family until Pookii's arrival in August.
Pookii arrived in style with an incredible birth story, and surrounded with lots of love and dear friends. She fits right in with our little mix. She's changed our lives since day 1, and helped us to grow as individuals and a family.
With all the additions, there were some losses as my grandmother died and my FIL was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It made for an interesting year. As for 2008's focus, let's see:
I wanted to focus on:
1. Living consciously with awareness and joy.
Being present in the moment, and to really just enjoy the moments and life. To laugh more and be more joyful. Did this.
Eating more nutritiously for myself and family. Moving and exercising more regularly. We've only just started doing this more religiously.
Enhancing my relationships with my husband, daughter, and family through encouragement, nurturing, love and joy.Did this.
2 Finances - spend wisely and consciously.
To put more into savings, spend wisely, and eliminate expenses where able. Did this and would like to eliminate more expenses.
3 Simplicity
To keep things simple by saying no when needed, respecting my boundaries, and keeping things uncomplicated. Keep up with keeping out the clutter. Did this, and enjoyed it too!
To Continue:
-To be aware of the blessings in my life, and continue my connection with appreciation and gratitude. Did this.
-To incorporate internal rhythms with life's rhythms. Learning to listen to what I need. Listening to my intuition. Did this.
- The home environment of peace, love, nurturing and joy. Did this.
To Complete:
- Trip to Disney World Did this.
- Backyard fence Did this.
- Stairs on back porch Did this.
Wow. I actually did what I focused on. Perhaps I do need to create some focus for 2009, just to keep track of things. Hmmm.
Pook was enrolled in a Montessori class and loved it. We spent the summer getting the house prepped for our new arrival, homeschooling, and spending summer days swimming at the pool and treasuring our family until Pookii's arrival in August.
Pookii arrived in style with an incredible birth story, and surrounded with lots of love and dear friends. She fits right in with our little mix. She's changed our lives since day 1, and helped us to grow as individuals and a family.
With all the additions, there were some losses as my grandmother died and my FIL was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It made for an interesting year. As for 2008's focus, let's see:
I wanted to focus on:
1. Living consciously with awareness and joy.
Being present in the moment, and to really just enjoy the moments and life. To laugh more and be more joyful. Did this.
Eating more nutritiously for myself and family. Moving and exercising more regularly. We've only just started doing this more religiously.
Enhancing my relationships with my husband, daughter, and family through encouragement, nurturing, love and joy.Did this.
2 Finances - spend wisely and consciously.
To put more into savings, spend wisely, and eliminate expenses where able. Did this and would like to eliminate more expenses.
3 Simplicity
To keep things simple by saying no when needed, respecting my boundaries, and keeping things uncomplicated. Keep up with keeping out the clutter. Did this, and enjoyed it too!
To Continue:
-To be aware of the blessings in my life, and continue my connection with appreciation and gratitude. Did this.
-To incorporate internal rhythms with life's rhythms. Learning to listen to what I need. Listening to my intuition. Did this.
- The home environment of peace, love, nurturing and joy. Did this.
To Complete:
- Trip to Disney World Did this.
- Backyard fence Did this.
- Stairs on back porch Did this.
Wow. I actually did what I focused on. Perhaps I do need to create some focus for 2009, just to keep track of things. Hmmm.
Enjoying the unexpected
I used to really enjoy traditions. The past few years we celebrated New Year's Eve with a traditional tarot reading for the new year, and listing what we wanted to release and embrace. This year, we drank Christmas mead and played Wii. We actually even stayed awake until midnight (thought we were asleep by 12:01 am.
It was only fitting that 2008 end with the same unexpectedness and possibilities it was filled with. 2008 was wild, amazing, challenging, and exciting.
This year, instead of setting up expectations, we are embracing possibilities and welcoming new things. Instead of over planning, we're leaving things open.
Perhaps I'll get around to writing a more detailed reflection of 2008. As for 2009, I haven't really made an resolutions. Perhaps I'll get around to pondering them and listing them out for you. However, it's entirely I may not. ;)
It was only fitting that 2008 end with the same unexpectedness and possibilities it was filled with. 2008 was wild, amazing, challenging, and exciting.
This year, instead of setting up expectations, we are embracing possibilities and welcoming new things. Instead of over planning, we're leaving things open.
Perhaps I'll get around to writing a more detailed reflection of 2008. As for 2009, I haven't really made an resolutions. Perhaps I'll get around to pondering them and listing them out for you. However, it's entirely I may not. ;)
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Onward to next year!
2008 has been an incredible year. And seemed to pass so quickly! It started off with the discovery that I was pregnant, followed by a trip to Disney World, many wonderful lessons and moments. In August we welcomed our second precious lil one into this world with open arms. We've chosen to spend the year in a way that suited us. There have been so many incredible and precious moments! We've made the most of it on so many levels.
And now, in a few hours, we'll welcome in 2009. In the last month, so many wonderful things and moments.
There are things that I want to embrace this year: my husband and children, homeschooling routines, and more.
There are things I'm ready to release as well.
It's looking to be an interesting year... perhaps I'll write more later. Right now... I'm off to quietly celebrate with friends.
Happy New Year!
And now, in a few hours, we'll welcome in 2009. In the last month, so many wonderful things and moments.
There are things that I want to embrace this year: my husband and children, homeschooling routines, and more.
There are things I'm ready to release as well.
It's looking to be an interesting year... perhaps I'll write more later. Right now... I'm off to quietly celebrate with friends.
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
My Grandmother's Table
My grandmother had a beautiful, oval-shaped, walnut dinning room table. For as long as I can remember, it hosted so many family memories and holidays. When my grandmother first moved into assisted living, she had to part with many of her things. I inherited her dinning room set. The beautiful table and cabinet, and the strange chairs. It was at least 30 years old.
The cabinet now hosts a plethora of our homeschooling supplies nicely organized and labeled. I've tacked up beautiful fabric from my MIL so that instead of displaying China, it houses an even more important part of our lives. Every time I look at it, I think of my grandmother, remembering all the things she used to store in it.
For 8 years it served as our dinning room table. It supported a great many feasts, tea parties, and more. This last year it's served as my office and homeschooling central. The chairs had strange netted backings, which Pook would poke her fingers through, pulling them out from the base. Two chairs have been in the basement for months, in need of tightening and new screws. And this year, when we moved the table to make room for our Christmas tree, the legs trembled.
As hubby laid underneath, tightening the screws, putting the legs back into place, we realized it was time to let it go. With a deep sigh, I called my brother, to see if he wanted it. He, like me, had no room for it. He told me that if I could find no one to take it, that instead of trashing it, I could bring it to his place, and we'd use it for a bonfire - a cremation of sorts.
We managed to find friends who will be taking the table. These friends are dear to my heart, and as they've no children to poke fingers through the chair backing, and the hubby is a Mr. FixIt, I think it shall be rather lovely in their new place. And I am so very grateful that it will have a good home for a while longer.
My grandmother died this past spring. Today, as I watched hubby and my FIL take it apart for storage in the basement until our friends pick it up, I was fondly reminded of all the years we sat and celebrated at that table. My heart ached as I felt the table's top, and watched them remove the leaf and the legs.
Now, I sit at a "new" table. It's stronger and sturdier. It's smaller and square. It belonged to my ILs. My MIL made cushions for the seats. The backs of the chairs are just right for learning against, offering wonderful support.
Right now, it's white with light wood. It's already changed the feel of the room. There's a new energy about. Pook wants to paint it black, and maybe we will.
On Thursday, this table will host a Christmas feast. New memories will be created. I've taken quite a liking to it. It feels very right, and will be the cause of revamping the dinning room to be more focused on homeschooling.
I'm hoping that it will be a part of our family for quite a while.
The cabinet now hosts a plethora of our homeschooling supplies nicely organized and labeled. I've tacked up beautiful fabric from my MIL so that instead of displaying China, it houses an even more important part of our lives. Every time I look at it, I think of my grandmother, remembering all the things she used to store in it.
For 8 years it served as our dinning room table. It supported a great many feasts, tea parties, and more. This last year it's served as my office and homeschooling central. The chairs had strange netted backings, which Pook would poke her fingers through, pulling them out from the base. Two chairs have been in the basement for months, in need of tightening and new screws. And this year, when we moved the table to make room for our Christmas tree, the legs trembled.
As hubby laid underneath, tightening the screws, putting the legs back into place, we realized it was time to let it go. With a deep sigh, I called my brother, to see if he wanted it. He, like me, had no room for it. He told me that if I could find no one to take it, that instead of trashing it, I could bring it to his place, and we'd use it for a bonfire - a cremation of sorts.
We managed to find friends who will be taking the table. These friends are dear to my heart, and as they've no children to poke fingers through the chair backing, and the hubby is a Mr. FixIt, I think it shall be rather lovely in their new place. And I am so very grateful that it will have a good home for a while longer.
My grandmother died this past spring. Today, as I watched hubby and my FIL take it apart for storage in the basement until our friends pick it up, I was fondly reminded of all the years we sat and celebrated at that table. My heart ached as I felt the table's top, and watched them remove the leaf and the legs.
Now, I sit at a "new" table. It's stronger and sturdier. It's smaller and square. It belonged to my ILs. My MIL made cushions for the seats. The backs of the chairs are just right for learning against, offering wonderful support.
Right now, it's white with light wood. It's already changed the feel of the room. There's a new energy about. Pook wants to paint it black, and maybe we will.
On Thursday, this table will host a Christmas feast. New memories will be created. I've taken quite a liking to it. It feels very right, and will be the cause of revamping the dinning room to be more focused on homeschooling.
I'm hoping that it will be a part of our family for quite a while.
Sunday, December 21, 2008
Challenge for the new year
I'm thinking of getting on board for the new year:
http://thepowerofless.com/2008/12/the-power-of-less-new-years-challenge/
What say you? Anyone else?
http://thepowerofless.com/2008/12/the-power-of-less-new-years-challenge/
What say you? Anyone else?
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