I've had to step away, and I'm not quite sure if I'm stepping back fully or not. You see, for the last 3-4 weeks, I've been immobilized by a back injury. In these 3-4 weeks, I've been forced to be still, rely on others for help, take a leave of absence from work, and I've been working on healing, which is happening but at a very slow rate - but it's happening.
In the course of a few days (interestingly enough corresponding with my husband's new hair cut and declaration that our lives need to change and transition), I found myself in severe pain due to (what would be discovered a few days later) a herniated disc (disc fragment) in the L5-S1 range.
I was give quite a few options: traction, steroids, or surgery. I've opted to do the traction to see if it would improve things, and it has been. Slowly, but surely.
Being still, I have realized just how fast my life has been spiraling. My children have grown in leaps and bounds. And over the last year and a half, I've been longing to slow down. One might argue that the universe was listening, because right now, I've been forced to slow down.
I don't think I've been more aware of the feel of my eldest's cheek, how large my youngest's hands are, the comfort holding my husband's hand brings (since hugging and snuggling are challenging). Through all of this, I find myself longing to write about it. To share what I've learned from my situation, and possibly about myself.
I'm not sure that I want to include it here... because I feel the need to give it it's own space to grow or pitter out if that is the case. It's a journey for certain. I suppose it's just a matter of taking the first step.
Join me if you wish...
http://playfulgracefulsteps.blogspot.com/
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