Today it's May, and there is all kinds of wonderful lore out there. Apparently last night, the fairy queen searched through gardens to decide which on she and her fellow fairies would reside in.
In honor of today, I offer to you a bouquet of fresh picked lillies of the valley dear friends, which signifies happiness.
May your day (this one, and each one after) be filled with happiness, and blessed with joy!
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Friday, April 27, 2007
Being who you are
Well, looks as though it's another 3 post day (and this time the dates should match up R! ;)
I just read this wonderful blog post.
Where there was this quote:
"Being who you are is the best gift you can give to yourself." - Corey Amaro
I'm am really beginning to realize the truth in that. Perhaps... you'll get another post in regards to this -- later.
I just read this wonderful blog post.
Where there was this quote:
"Being who you are is the best gift you can give to yourself." - Corey Amaro
I'm am really beginning to realize the truth in that. Perhaps... you'll get another post in regards to this -- later.
Gratitude
After focusing on some very heavy topics over the last few posts, I've decided I'm going to try and get back into the habit of gratitude and appreciation.
I've been quite hard on myself, you see. And, apparently I'm not the only one. So, in order to find balance, to rediscover the magic... I need to focus on the blessings in my life - to bask in gratitude.
I'm going to try and do this for every day, or at least the weekdays (I try to stay off this thing on the weekends). Or at least as much as I can, so that I can just express my thanks for what I have, and who I have in my life. Oh, please do encourage me on this if you can! At least 5 things... but, once I get started, it seems I tend to find so many other things... so, we shall see. Let us begin:
I am grateful for...
1. The life I live. I get to work from home, be a mom, a wife, a homemaker, in a cozy little house in the mountains.
2. To be told this by Pook two minutes ago, "Mommy, I like it here. I love this place, and this house. I love Pook's house so much!" My daughter, who greets me each morning with a big good morning hug.
3. For those people and events in my life that have helped me to be where I am today.
4. For supportive friends - in the blogsphere, in different states, and down the street. ;)
5. For my ego, because without it, I wouldn't be where I am today, nor would I have the fascinating opportunity to learn from it. To know that I see the world through my own perspective, and even try to see things the way others would (even though it's really still my view).
6. For family. I learn such wonderful life lessons from them.
7. For the wonderful weather and sunshine.
8. For love.
I've been quite hard on myself, you see. And, apparently I'm not the only one. So, in order to find balance, to rediscover the magic... I need to focus on the blessings in my life - to bask in gratitude.
I'm going to try and do this for every day, or at least the weekdays (I try to stay off this thing on the weekends). Or at least as much as I can, so that I can just express my thanks for what I have, and who I have in my life. Oh, please do encourage me on this if you can! At least 5 things... but, once I get started, it seems I tend to find so many other things... so, we shall see. Let us begin:
I am grateful for...
1. The life I live. I get to work from home, be a mom, a wife, a homemaker, in a cozy little house in the mountains.
2. To be told this by Pook two minutes ago, "Mommy, I like it here. I love this place, and this house. I love Pook's house so much!" My daughter, who greets me each morning with a big good morning hug.
3. For those people and events in my life that have helped me to be where I am today.
4. For supportive friends - in the blogsphere, in different states, and down the street. ;)
5. For my ego, because without it, I wouldn't be where I am today, nor would I have the fascinating opportunity to learn from it. To know that I see the world through my own perspective, and even try to see things the way others would (even though it's really still my view).
6. For family. I learn such wonderful life lessons from them.
7. For the wonderful weather and sunshine.
8. For love.
Powerful Words and Ed
This morning, I was blessed to read the following posted by Ed (so nice to have you back):
While certainly no expert on the subject, I know that life is too precious and too unpredictable to be taken for granted.
And that's really what we do when we get angry at someone we care about, or when we get angry at someone whose approval we are seeking. We take them for granted, since the act of being angry with them, of judging and distancing from them, is to punish them, to seek some emotional equilibrium and that takes for granted the idea that they will be around long enough for this process to work itself through. When we have been wronged, it is too easy to transform someone into an ideal and forget that they are, in reality, a human -- and quite temporarily so.
You can read his full post here.
Now, I really admire Ed. (Did you know that?) Actually, I always have because he is such a vibrant person (at least that's how I see him). In college, he'd walk into a room, and I swear that room would light up, and in moments, he'd have someone laughing or smiling. Even when he was extremely exhausted, he'd managed to say something to get you to smile.
I'll never forget how, during a very uncomfortable situation where I'd let my wonderful ego go ballistic, he sat down with me, talked to me in person, was honest and upfront with his feelings, and, on top of everything else, dared to express feelings of concern for me where others dare not tread (as I was quite prideful then). When it was all said and done, all that really stuck out about the whole messy situation, was that Ed wasn't afraid to tell me, that regardless of the mess I'd made, he still cared and was concerned.
We don't know each other well; we aren't best buddies or anything like that, but as long as I've known him, he has always provided me with food for thought about my own life. Especially since he started blogging.
From what I do know, we seem to been vastly different in some areas. He's able to see things in a way that I don't. And I'm so glad I've people like that in my life (even if it is through a blog), because I tend to think that each person lives life according to their own way, and when you meet someone who sees things differently, it adds a new perspective and tint to your own life, if you let it.
So Ed, I hope I haven't embaressed you or anything, by shouting my admiration for you out here in the blog sphere, but, your last post hit the nail on the head for me. Especially this part:
And it helps take the edge off of family feuds, because when someone is gone, there is no chance for them to right past wrongs. There is no chance to hear them say I'm sorry, or for you to say you're sorry.
Anger has always been an issue for me, and reading your post, suddenly, I realized just how much of my life I've wasted being angry, how many people I've hurt or pushed away to whom I may never be able to apologize, how I could be spending my time being grateful for what I have, and being appreciative...
So thank you, Ed. Your words maybe just for your ownself to read 10 years from now, but today, your words have reached out and touched my heart where it really needed to be touched. And, I appreciate them and you.
And in light of that --
For those of you out there who read this, and those that don't even know this blog exists, if my actions (particularly those involving my ego and anger, but not subjected to only these) have caused a rift, hurt feelings or any other type of negative action (or reaction, depending) -
From the depths of love within my heart, I am sorry.
I apologize for not being more appreciative and letting you know you were appreciated, for letting my anger and ego have the better of me. Know too, I am grateful for having you in my life. Whether it was for a moment or a lifetime, whether you be flesh and blood, a stranger on the street, a friend who I've lost contact with ... you have touched my life in some way. And I appreciate that.
While certainly no expert on the subject, I know that life is too precious and too unpredictable to be taken for granted.
And that's really what we do when we get angry at someone we care about, or when we get angry at someone whose approval we are seeking. We take them for granted, since the act of being angry with them, of judging and distancing from them, is to punish them, to seek some emotional equilibrium and that takes for granted the idea that they will be around long enough for this process to work itself through. When we have been wronged, it is too easy to transform someone into an ideal and forget that they are, in reality, a human -- and quite temporarily so.
You can read his full post here.
Now, I really admire Ed. (Did you know that?) Actually, I always have because he is such a vibrant person (at least that's how I see him). In college, he'd walk into a room, and I swear that room would light up, and in moments, he'd have someone laughing or smiling. Even when he was extremely exhausted, he'd managed to say something to get you to smile.
I'll never forget how, during a very uncomfortable situation where I'd let my wonderful ego go ballistic, he sat down with me, talked to me in person, was honest and upfront with his feelings, and, on top of everything else, dared to express feelings of concern for me where others dare not tread (as I was quite prideful then). When it was all said and done, all that really stuck out about the whole messy situation, was that Ed wasn't afraid to tell me, that regardless of the mess I'd made, he still cared and was concerned.
We don't know each other well; we aren't best buddies or anything like that, but as long as I've known him, he has always provided me with food for thought about my own life. Especially since he started blogging.
From what I do know, we seem to been vastly different in some areas. He's able to see things in a way that I don't. And I'm so glad I've people like that in my life (even if it is through a blog), because I tend to think that each person lives life according to their own way, and when you meet someone who sees things differently, it adds a new perspective and tint to your own life, if you let it.
So Ed, I hope I haven't embaressed you or anything, by shouting my admiration for you out here in the blog sphere, but, your last post hit the nail on the head for me. Especially this part:
And it helps take the edge off of family feuds, because when someone is gone, there is no chance for them to right past wrongs. There is no chance to hear them say I'm sorry, or for you to say you're sorry.
Anger has always been an issue for me, and reading your post, suddenly, I realized just how much of my life I've wasted being angry, how many people I've hurt or pushed away to whom I may never be able to apologize, how I could be spending my time being grateful for what I have, and being appreciative...
So thank you, Ed. Your words maybe just for your ownself to read 10 years from now, but today, your words have reached out and touched my heart where it really needed to be touched. And, I appreciate them and you.
And in light of that --
For those of you out there who read this, and those that don't even know this blog exists, if my actions (particularly those involving my ego and anger, but not subjected to only these) have caused a rift, hurt feelings or any other type of negative action (or reaction, depending) -
From the depths of love within my heart, I am sorry.
I apologize for not being more appreciative and letting you know you were appreciated, for letting my anger and ego have the better of me. Know too, I am grateful for having you in my life. Whether it was for a moment or a lifetime, whether you be flesh and blood, a stranger on the street, a friend who I've lost contact with ... you have touched my life in some way. And I appreciate that.
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Ego and Pride, Ego and Pride -> Freedom
Last night, Hubby and I were discussing the posts on my blog.
"So, do you think it's an ego and pride thing with them? Because I really don't know what fueled this thing with them - again."
Ouch.
I love my husband. I adore my husband. Especially because we can have conversations like this. I thought about what he said. And yup, he was right. And yeah, it twinged!
I can't believe I'm admitting this in writing for my little world of readers to see - but I am. Yes, when I thought it out, I realized that it was ego and pride. I was upset with them because they weren't doing what I wanted them to do. I wanted a strong, expanded familial unit; right now, they are focusing on their own little familial unit.
Hey, that actually felt good admitting "out loud". In fact, today, I'm feeling really good about the whole thing. Because once I realized it was my ego and pride that were hurt,I was able to see them, really, truly see them for who they are - and to accept them.
And, to accept myself in the process.
Wow. Powerful stuff.
They are very different from us. And, after talking with L yesterday about how in some families, blood is thicker than water, but in others, it's not, I just realized that in this case - blood is not thicker than water.
As soon as I made the connection, I felt the sweet bliss of freedom. Freedom from playing the "good" SIL to keep peace with people who may well not want peace. Freedom to stop worrying about my BIL and how he's changed and his relationship with Pook. Freedom to realize I can be indifferent right now - I don't have to keep the peace, be nice to them, hate them, be angry with them, continue to give energy to a situation that clearly doesn't need any - I can just let them be who they are, and live in their little world - just as I live in mine.
This may not be big news to everyone, and blessed are those already aware of this. But for me, this is big news. Now, whenever I start to have angry thoughts, I just say to myself, "Ego and Pride, Grace. Ego and Pride." And it's amazing how I can just stop the self-righteous thoughts.
Ego and pride are indeed tied into self-righteousness and expectations(well, mine at least!). It's my ego and pride that gets hurt when I am forced to face responsibility for thoughts (particularly self-righteous ones) about others. It's my ego and pride that enjoys being right, and better, and "above" others. When people, things, or what-have-yous don't meet our expectations - it's the ego and pride - is it not?
Fact is, we're all in this together, aren't we? We're just on different paths, in different worlds, with different expectations. And I think that all seems to come back to the fact, that there is no one way.
"So, do you think it's an ego and pride thing with them? Because I really don't know what fueled this thing with them - again."
Ouch.
I love my husband. I adore my husband. Especially because we can have conversations like this. I thought about what he said. And yup, he was right. And yeah, it twinged!
I can't believe I'm admitting this in writing for my little world of readers to see - but I am. Yes, when I thought it out, I realized that it was ego and pride. I was upset with them because they weren't doing what I wanted them to do. I wanted a strong, expanded familial unit; right now, they are focusing on their own little familial unit.
Hey, that actually felt good admitting "out loud". In fact, today, I'm feeling really good about the whole thing. Because once I realized it was my ego and pride that were hurt,I was able to see them, really, truly see them for who they are - and to accept them.
And, to accept myself in the process.
Wow. Powerful stuff.
They are very different from us. And, after talking with L yesterday about how in some families, blood is thicker than water, but in others, it's not, I just realized that in this case - blood is not thicker than water.
As soon as I made the connection, I felt the sweet bliss of freedom. Freedom from playing the "good" SIL to keep peace with people who may well not want peace. Freedom to stop worrying about my BIL and how he's changed and his relationship with Pook. Freedom to realize I can be indifferent right now - I don't have to keep the peace, be nice to them, hate them, be angry with them, continue to give energy to a situation that clearly doesn't need any - I can just let them be who they are, and live in their little world - just as I live in mine.
This may not be big news to everyone, and blessed are those already aware of this. But for me, this is big news. Now, whenever I start to have angry thoughts, I just say to myself, "Ego and Pride, Grace. Ego and Pride." And it's amazing how I can just stop the self-righteous thoughts.
Ego and pride are indeed tied into self-righteousness and expectations(well, mine at least!). It's my ego and pride that gets hurt when I am forced to face responsibility for thoughts (particularly self-righteous ones) about others. It's my ego and pride that enjoys being right, and better, and "above" others. When people, things, or what-have-yous don't meet our expectations - it's the ego and pride - is it not?
Fact is, we're all in this together, aren't we? We're just on different paths, in different worlds, with different expectations. And I think that all seems to come back to the fact, that there is no one way.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
The Real Deal
Well, I step away for a bit, and seem to have so much to say. My head's really been caught up in so many thoughts as of late. You lucky peeps get THREE posts today!
I did want to mention (and yes L - you did inspire this one!), that a friend of mine mentioned before that people can post anything on their blogs. They can create any type of image of who they want to be or think they are.
With me, you get the real deal. I really, truly, am the same person you are reading about. I'd love to portray someone who's got it all together, can confidently let things go, and a few other things. And at times, I do have it all together, can confidently release things, and focus on the fun and joy that is the dailiness of my life. But you, you lucky peeps get the glimpses into the real deal.
Why do I share my inner workings and thoughts here? My husband probably wonders that a lot. I am well aware that there are a few people out there who read this blog. And perhaps, because I know this, I'm wiling to put myself and my imperfections out there. (Not all of them, but most of them.)
I'm at a place right now, where I'm figuring out how I work and the hows and whys of how others work, in a strange quest of acceptance. Not just of others, but, I suppose too of myself. Sometimes I wonder, if we all truly accepted ourselves, exactly as we are (and by acceptance I don't mean not changing if that's what you want to do), just what the world would be like.
At least, that's where I am currently. Who knows where I'll be a few months from now, eh?
I did want to mention (and yes L - you did inspire this one!), that a friend of mine mentioned before that people can post anything on their blogs. They can create any type of image of who they want to be or think they are.
With me, you get the real deal. I really, truly, am the same person you are reading about. I'd love to portray someone who's got it all together, can confidently let things go, and a few other things. And at times, I do have it all together, can confidently release things, and focus on the fun and joy that is the dailiness of my life. But you, you lucky peeps get the glimpses into the real deal.
Why do I share my inner workings and thoughts here? My husband probably wonders that a lot. I am well aware that there are a few people out there who read this blog. And perhaps, because I know this, I'm wiling to put myself and my imperfections out there. (Not all of them, but most of them.)
I'm at a place right now, where I'm figuring out how I work and the hows and whys of how others work, in a strange quest of acceptance. Not just of others, but, I suppose too of myself. Sometimes I wonder, if we all truly accepted ourselves, exactly as we are (and by acceptance I don't mean not changing if that's what you want to do), just what the world would be like.
At least, that's where I am currently. Who knows where I'll be a few months from now, eh?
Monday, April 16, 2007
Official Birthday Weekend is over
Well, it looks as though Pook wasn't the only one celebrating this weekend. A dear and charming friend of mine is now officially a dad of yet another simply sweet and marvelous little girl who's birthday is the day before Pook's! Congrats to the family!
It's Monday, and we survived the birthday party. You wouldn't think 2 hours is a long time, but guess what? When playing party games with 4 year olds, it's very long. Almost too long.
We also got to enjoy the company of the twins and Aunt K, who, we are hoping will make a return visit in August so that we can actually explore some of the local sites (and maybe, just maybe, stay a little longer then Friday evening to Sunday morning). ;)
In any case, it was a full and wonderful weekend. But it doesn't stop there, as my mom is due in this Thursday to continue the birthday celebrations. Is Pook lucky or what? She celebrates the whole month!!!!
So, I'm thinking of taking a wee sabatical for a bit. (Yes, I know that each time I usually say this, I end up getting a ton of ideas... we shall see.)
It's Monday, and we survived the birthday party. You wouldn't think 2 hours is a long time, but guess what? When playing party games with 4 year olds, it's very long. Almost too long.
We also got to enjoy the company of the twins and Aunt K, who, we are hoping will make a return visit in August so that we can actually explore some of the local sites (and maybe, just maybe, stay a little longer then Friday evening to Sunday morning). ;)
In any case, it was a full and wonderful weekend. But it doesn't stop there, as my mom is due in this Thursday to continue the birthday celebrations. Is Pook lucky or what? She celebrates the whole month!!!!
So, I'm thinking of taking a wee sabatical for a bit. (Yes, I know that each time I usually say this, I end up getting a ton of ideas... we shall see.)
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